text from Makkah @ 2 October, 2008
Mak!
yang kusayang dan kurindui
kulihat RAMADHAN dari kejauhan
kudekati lalu aku sapa
ia hendak ke mana?
dengan lembut ia berkata:
Aku harus pergi
mungkin jauh dan sangat lama
tolong sampaikan pesanku untuk siMukmin
SYAWAL akan tiba sebentar lagi
ajaklah SABAR untuk temani hari-hari dukanya
peluklah ISTIQAMAH saat dia kelelahan
dalam perjalanan TAQWA,
bersandarlah pada TAWADHU' saat kesombongan menyerang
mintalah nasehat dari QURAN & SUNNAH
di setiap masalah yang dihadapi
sampaikan pula salam dan terimakasih untuknya
kerana menyambutku dengan sukacita
kelak akan aku sambut di SYURGA
di pintu AR-RAYYAN
Selamat IdulFitri
mohon maaf lahir dan bathin
Anakmu,
Yusuf & Ridwan
Sunday, February 08, 2009
Saturday, February 07, 2009
measurement
I got myself a new trainer and it's measurement day.. Becky my trainer did her job to plan for my next regime. She asked what's my priority - weight loss or body toning? Taking various factors of importance to me, told her i want a combo - loose a few more kgs and tone up, by end March. It's gonna be lots of hard work, but i am enjoying myself alright. Hope to progress timely for DH's next visit.
While waiting, Rina, another trainer, made remarks that she could not relate to how i could stand being so far apart from my husband - seeing one another only after 4 months or so. She quoted that her husband left for a week training and she was all so freaking out. LOL :) I didn't bother checking which aspect she's referring to her freaking ;) but i shared some thots with the young woman. That - some things in life go beyond our planning.
Never did i imagine going through a failed marriage. Was hoping and working hard to save it - thinking that's the best i should do. Then i found myself going through a divorce anyway. Painful it was, but at the end of it, i was definitely happier being a divorcee. Sure, there were all the problems being a divorcee, some of which were unthinkable and absurd.. understood only by those in the same boat. Lonely i was, but i was more at peace, felt more secure.
Then I met AA, eventually tied the knot. As much as i would love to be with my husband, live together like other couples do, i know i am in a better state of being today than i was before.
Daily I am dealing with my loneliness etc, etc, etc, but somewhere out there, i know i have someone who is also counting days to see me.
Life - has its measurement chart as well. Like my current weight which is yoyo-ing, i need to manage these selected factors listed in the chart. I pray hard, for His guidance, to improve and have the right factors worked-on. Timeline? to work as though you're living forever and prepare yourself like death is tomorrow.
Today, bi-iznillah, I am definitely better in terms of my weight; I am definitely stronger in terms of my being.
While waiting, Rina, another trainer, made remarks that she could not relate to how i could stand being so far apart from my husband - seeing one another only after 4 months or so. She quoted that her husband left for a week training and she was all so freaking out. LOL :) I didn't bother checking which aspect she's referring to her freaking ;) but i shared some thots with the young woman. That - some things in life go beyond our planning.
Never did i imagine going through a failed marriage. Was hoping and working hard to save it - thinking that's the best i should do. Then i found myself going through a divorce anyway. Painful it was, but at the end of it, i was definitely happier being a divorcee. Sure, there were all the problems being a divorcee, some of which were unthinkable and absurd.. understood only by those in the same boat. Lonely i was, but i was more at peace, felt more secure.
Then I met AA, eventually tied the knot. As much as i would love to be with my husband, live together like other couples do, i know i am in a better state of being today than i was before.
Daily I am dealing with my loneliness etc, etc, etc, but somewhere out there, i know i have someone who is also counting days to see me.
Life - has its measurement chart as well. Like my current weight which is yoyo-ing, i need to manage these selected factors listed in the chart. I pray hard, for His guidance, to improve and have the right factors worked-on. Timeline? to work as though you're living forever and prepare yourself like death is tomorrow.
Today, bi-iznillah, I am definitely better in terms of my weight; I am definitely stronger in terms of my being.
Anak Angkat
Was packing for CNY-balik kampong, making sure i got all the necessary packed. Included in the toiletries is a bottle of this perfume yang i dah lama tak pakai. Thot rather than have it crowding my dressing table, i might as well leave it with the rest for my options/consumption in penang.
The scent of the perfume took me back to so many episodes in years 2005-2006 when there were repeated tremor in my marriage. I am pleased that of all the mega episodes, the scent brought me to revisiting my trip attending to Adik Yusuf - a mutawwif who later adopted mak as his mother di Jabbal Rahmah.
I was driving and he was by my side. Masa tu terasa tersusuk hidung with the very scent.. too strong that i felt bad - berbaur antara malu, segan and dosa - memakai wangi-wangian and being with a non-muhrim. Well - it's "Adik" Yusuf to me - but nonetheless - he is a non-muhrim and hukumnya tetap haram! Awat la pi salah picit - terbanyak la pulak spray effect hence the VERY strong scent! Sendiri pun terasa pening lalat..kesian Adik Yusuf. Was thankful that he did not comment apa-2.... alahai.
Having visited the episode - terkenang pulak - whatever happened to him and the lot. Spoke to Adik Yusuf last after i received a text from him. The text was meant for Mak - a beautiful poem/doa from Makkah. He was with adik Ridwan and Feri. I miss all of them .. Adik Yusuf would normally call before visiting mak, almost each time he comes back from attending to Umrah or Hajj. And as usual - we dont take janji Adik Yusuf too seriously - we know very well that his schedule are sooo tak menentu with unplanned requests from jemaahs and what nots. Mak is so blessed, alhamdulillah, dikurniakan anak angkat in the capacity of Ustaz Yusuf... who has brought along his whole family to be part of our clan. Hence his mother, his wife Wardiah, the kids - Jabir, Yasin and Idris, Ustaz Ridwan, Nisa, Siti Khadijah and Siti Aminah in our life. I tumpang menempek jadi kakak... tumpang-tumpang hendaknya terpalit dalam their prayers.
Was in Tesco with Mak, CikLi, Qayyum and Aiman looking for stuff in mak's list. I noticed a miss call with an unfamiliar number. Thot i'd deal with it later. Before settling down in bed at around 11-nish, as though ada strong pull, i dialled the number. Didn't expect a pickup at that hour but thot at least i've made the effort to return the call. If it's of any importance - expect the other end to take the action.
CNY morning - monday, packing & getting prepared to head home to KL after asar. Was was showering when my mobile rang... 'Assalamualaikum kak...' the voice of adik Yusuf. He's somewhere in a hotel in Butterworth, arrived the few days before from Jeddah, to Melaka, to Penang to take a ferry home with his mom and parents-in-law after a 5 months stay in Mekah. Masyaallah... seronoknya, being in Mekah for 5 MONTHS! I imagine turning into an angel (heheheh!)... simply makan-tidor and lots of ibadah-taubat between Masjidil Haram and Masjid Nabawi.
I asked Adik Yusuf for an hour to be there fetch him and the additional clan. Mak and I took them to a restaurant known for its fresh ikan bakar in Bandar Perda. But since they insisted they have taken heavy breakfast, we bought fruits - some durian, manggis, dokong, tembikai, grapes instead.
Kisahnya - Adik Yusuf still cud not secure the ferry tickets. So main task, drive him to penang for the tickets. NOONE would be willing to drive to penang on a CNY day. I think it's being smart as well as thoughtful to free the roads and traffic for the Chinese for their visiting and raya-ing business. But there i was - around 1:20 pm joining thousands others struggling to stay insane, fighting the traffic with hundreds of other vehicles - ciluk-menciluk, caci-mencaci (not me laa), fingers and fists going up in the air. Seriously - never imagined i would be driving to Penang - on Chinese New Year Day!
Caught in the bloody jamm, Adik Yusuf sitting next to me, Qayyum and Aiman at the back seat. We went one round of tazkirah after checking on our bacaan al-Fatihah with al-ustaz, he covered the rukun solat, i forwarded a few kemushkilan between mazhabs - mine and DH's; went into kisah Ali (another Mutawwif - Adik Yusuf's anak penakan, was my mutawwif in my solo 2nd umrah) and his predicaments in selecting his wife (may Allah Guide him). Had a good laugh dengar ceritera Adik Yusof.. by 3:30pm we were still stucked at the bibir of the penang bridge!
Wa ga lu kong - it takes LOTS OF GUTS to have your car move 2 inches and it's about surviving the ciluk-menciluk (seriously - tengah jamm macam tu nak ciluk celah mana.. can't people just stay in their queue and behave civilized!). Kalau Adik Yusuf tak de, i could have joined the finger bisnes. Err.. who's talking about being civilized?
We got to the ticket counter around 4.30-ish, thankful to secure the last 4 tickets to Medan. Alhamdulillah.
Mak senyum sampai ke telinga happy jumpa her Anak Angkat again!
Trip home to Kl deferred to Tuesday morning.
The scent of the perfume took me back to so many episodes in years 2005-2006 when there were repeated tremor in my marriage. I am pleased that of all the mega episodes, the scent brought me to revisiting my trip attending to Adik Yusuf - a mutawwif who later adopted mak as his mother di Jabbal Rahmah.
I was driving and he was by my side. Masa tu terasa tersusuk hidung with the very scent.. too strong that i felt bad - berbaur antara malu, segan and dosa - memakai wangi-wangian and being with a non-muhrim. Well - it's "Adik" Yusuf to me - but nonetheless - he is a non-muhrim and hukumnya tetap haram! Awat la pi salah picit - terbanyak la pulak spray effect hence the VERY strong scent! Sendiri pun terasa pening lalat..kesian Adik Yusuf. Was thankful that he did not comment apa-2.... alahai.
Having visited the episode - terkenang pulak - whatever happened to him and the lot. Spoke to Adik Yusuf last after i received a text from him. The text was meant for Mak - a beautiful poem/doa from Makkah. He was with adik Ridwan and Feri. I miss all of them .. Adik Yusuf would normally call before visiting mak, almost each time he comes back from attending to Umrah or Hajj. And as usual - we dont take janji Adik Yusuf too seriously - we know very well that his schedule are sooo tak menentu with unplanned requests from jemaahs and what nots. Mak is so blessed, alhamdulillah, dikurniakan anak angkat in the capacity of Ustaz Yusuf... who has brought along his whole family to be part of our clan. Hence his mother, his wife Wardiah, the kids - Jabir, Yasin and Idris, Ustaz Ridwan, Nisa, Siti Khadijah and Siti Aminah in our life. I tumpang menempek jadi kakak... tumpang-tumpang hendaknya terpalit dalam their prayers.
Was in Tesco with Mak, CikLi, Qayyum and Aiman looking for stuff in mak's list. I noticed a miss call with an unfamiliar number. Thot i'd deal with it later. Before settling down in bed at around 11-nish, as though ada strong pull, i dialled the number. Didn't expect a pickup at that hour but thot at least i've made the effort to return the call. If it's of any importance - expect the other end to take the action.
CNY morning - monday, packing & getting prepared to head home to KL after asar. Was was showering when my mobile rang... 'Assalamualaikum kak...' the voice of adik Yusuf. He's somewhere in a hotel in Butterworth, arrived the few days before from Jeddah, to Melaka, to Penang to take a ferry home with his mom and parents-in-law after a 5 months stay in Mekah. Masyaallah... seronoknya, being in Mekah for 5 MONTHS! I imagine turning into an angel (heheheh!)... simply makan-tidor and lots of ibadah-taubat between Masjidil Haram and Masjid Nabawi.
I asked Adik Yusuf for an hour to be there fetch him and the additional clan. Mak and I took them to a restaurant known for its fresh ikan bakar in Bandar Perda. But since they insisted they have taken heavy breakfast, we bought fruits - some durian, manggis, dokong, tembikai, grapes instead.
Kisahnya - Adik Yusuf still cud not secure the ferry tickets. So main task, drive him to penang for the tickets. NOONE would be willing to drive to penang on a CNY day. I think it's being smart as well as thoughtful to free the roads and traffic for the Chinese for their visiting and raya-ing business. But there i was - around 1:20 pm joining thousands others struggling to stay insane, fighting the traffic with hundreds of other vehicles - ciluk-menciluk, caci-mencaci (not me laa), fingers and fists going up in the air. Seriously - never imagined i would be driving to Penang - on Chinese New Year Day!
Caught in the bloody jamm, Adik Yusuf sitting next to me, Qayyum and Aiman at the back seat. We went one round of tazkirah after checking on our bacaan al-Fatihah with al-ustaz, he covered the rukun solat, i forwarded a few kemushkilan between mazhabs - mine and DH's; went into kisah Ali (another Mutawwif - Adik Yusuf's anak penakan, was my mutawwif in my solo 2nd umrah) and his predicaments in selecting his wife (may Allah Guide him). Had a good laugh dengar ceritera Adik Yusof.. by 3:30pm we were still stucked at the bibir of the penang bridge!
Wa ga lu kong - it takes LOTS OF GUTS to have your car move 2 inches and it's about surviving the ciluk-menciluk (seriously - tengah jamm macam tu nak ciluk celah mana.. can't people just stay in their queue and behave civilized!). Kalau Adik Yusuf tak de, i could have joined the finger bisnes. Err.. who's talking about being civilized?
We got to the ticket counter around 4.30-ish, thankful to secure the last 4 tickets to Medan. Alhamdulillah.
Mak senyum sampai ke telinga happy jumpa her Anak Angkat again!
Trip home to Kl deferred to Tuesday morning.
Monday, February 02, 2009
Gaza Fund Appeal
'Somebody' made appearance on Astro appealing for the Gaza Fund donation. When i first saw it - i simply think the person is so unfit to be standing for such a noble course.
Some things are not tallying...
Some things are not tallying...
Sunday, February 01, 2009
He was 100% right
Found -
"I could have annihilated all the Jews of the whole world, But I deliberately left some of them alive, so all of you would know why I killed lot of them"
- Great Adolf Hitler
"I could have annihilated all the Jews of the whole world, But I deliberately left some of them alive, so all of you would know why I killed lot of them"
- Great Adolf Hitler
Friday, January 30, 2009
kosong
jauh
pandangan
luas
tak terbatas
tapi bersempadan
sekilas
ada bait ketenangan
seolah hanya aku dan alam
dengan deruan angin
mendung
mentari yang tak kelihatan
terasa hambar
terasa sepi
terasa kosong
pandangan
luas
tak terbatas
tapi bersempadan
sekilas
ada bait ketenangan
seolah hanya aku dan alam
dengan deruan angin
mendung
mentari yang tak kelihatan
terasa hambar
terasa sepi
terasa kosong
Get a life
Received the following in my email today. Had lots of ting! ting! ting! from it..some real good thots - I simply need to keep it handy.
This was a speech made by Pulitzer Prize-winning author, Anna Quindlen at the graduation ceremony of an American university where she was awarded an Honorary PhD. Worth reading !!
"I'm a novelist. My work is human nature. Real life is all I know. Don't ever confuse the two, your life and your work. You will walk out of here this afternoon with only one thing that no one else has. There will be hundreds of people out there with your same degree: there will be thousands of people doing what you want to do for a living. But you will be the only person alive who has sole custody of your life. Your particular life. Your entire life. Not just your life at a desk, or your life on a bus, or in a car, or at the computer. Not just the life of your mind, but the life of your heart. Not just your bank accounts but also your soul.
People don't talk about the soul very much anymore. It's so much easier to write a resume than to craft a spirit. But a resume is cold comfort on a winter's night, or when you're sad, or broke, or lonely, or when you've received your test results and they're not so good.
Here is my resume: I am a good mother to three children. I have tried never to let my work stand in the way of being a good parent. I no longer consider myself the centre of the universe. I show up. I listen. I try to laugh. I am a good friend to my husband. I have tried to make marriage vows mean what they say. I am a good friend to my friends and they to me. Without them, there would be nothing to say to you today, because I would be a cardboard cut out. But I call them on the phone, and I meet them for lunch. I would be rotten, at best mediocre at my job if those other things were not true.
You cannot be really first rate at your work if your work is all you are. So here's what I wanted to tell you today: Get a life. A real life, not a manic pursuit of the next promotion, the bigger pay cheque, the larger house. Do you think you'd care so very much about those things if you blew an aneurysm one afternoon, or found a lump in your breast?
Get a life in which you notice the smell of salt water pushing itself on a breeze at the seaside, a life in which you stop and watch how a red-tailed hawk circles over the water, or the way a baby scowls with concentration when she tries to pick up a sweet with her thumb and first finger.
Get a life in which you are not alone. Find people you love, and who love you. And remember that love is not leisure, it is work. Pick up the phone. Send an email. Write a letter. Get a life in which you are generous. And realize that life is the best thing ever, and that you have no business taking it for granted. Care so deeply about its goodness that you want to spread it around. Take money you would have spent on beer and give it to charity. Work in a soup kitchen. Be a big brother or sister. All of you want to do well. But if you do not do good too, then doing well will never be enough.
It is so easy to waste our lives, our days, our hours, and our minutes. It is so easy to take for granted the color of our kids' eyes, the way the melody in a symphony rises and falls and disappears and rises again. It is so easy to exist instead of to live.
I learned to live many years ago. I learned to love the journey, not the destination. I learned that it is not a dress rehearsal, and that today is the only guarantee you get. I learned to look at all the good in the world and try to give some of it back because I believed in it, completely and utterly. And I tried to do that, in part, by telling others what I had learned. By telling them this: Consider the lilies of the field. Look at the fuzz on a baby's ear. Read in the back yard with the sun on your face. Learn to be happy. And think of life as a terminal illness, because if you do, you will live it with joy and passion as it ought to be lived".
This was a speech made by Pulitzer Prize-winning author, Anna Quindlen at the graduation ceremony of an American university where she was awarded an Honorary PhD. Worth reading !!
"I'm a novelist. My work is human nature. Real life is all I know. Don't ever confuse the two, your life and your work. You will walk out of here this afternoon with only one thing that no one else has. There will be hundreds of people out there with your same degree: there will be thousands of people doing what you want to do for a living. But you will be the only person alive who has sole custody of your life. Your particular life. Your entire life. Not just your life at a desk, or your life on a bus, or in a car, or at the computer. Not just the life of your mind, but the life of your heart. Not just your bank accounts but also your soul.
People don't talk about the soul very much anymore. It's so much easier to write a resume than to craft a spirit. But a resume is cold comfort on a winter's night, or when you're sad, or broke, or lonely, or when you've received your test results and they're not so good.
Here is my resume: I am a good mother to three children. I have tried never to let my work stand in the way of being a good parent. I no longer consider myself the centre of the universe. I show up. I listen. I try to laugh. I am a good friend to my husband. I have tried to make marriage vows mean what they say. I am a good friend to my friends and they to me. Without them, there would be nothing to say to you today, because I would be a cardboard cut out. But I call them on the phone, and I meet them for lunch. I would be rotten, at best mediocre at my job if those other things were not true.
You cannot be really first rate at your work if your work is all you are. So here's what I wanted to tell you today: Get a life. A real life, not a manic pursuit of the next promotion, the bigger pay cheque, the larger house. Do you think you'd care so very much about those things if you blew an aneurysm one afternoon, or found a lump in your breast?
Get a life in which you notice the smell of salt water pushing itself on a breeze at the seaside, a life in which you stop and watch how a red-tailed hawk circles over the water, or the way a baby scowls with concentration when she tries to pick up a sweet with her thumb and first finger.
Get a life in which you are not alone. Find people you love, and who love you. And remember that love is not leisure, it is work. Pick up the phone. Send an email. Write a letter. Get a life in which you are generous. And realize that life is the best thing ever, and that you have no business taking it for granted. Care so deeply about its goodness that you want to spread it around. Take money you would have spent on beer and give it to charity. Work in a soup kitchen. Be a big brother or sister. All of you want to do well. But if you do not do good too, then doing well will never be enough.
It is so easy to waste our lives, our days, our hours, and our minutes. It is so easy to take for granted the color of our kids' eyes, the way the melody in a symphony rises and falls and disappears and rises again. It is so easy to exist instead of to live.
I learned to live many years ago. I learned to love the journey, not the destination. I learned that it is not a dress rehearsal, and that today is the only guarantee you get. I learned to look at all the good in the world and try to give some of it back because I believed in it, completely and utterly. And I tried to do that, in part, by telling others what I had learned. By telling them this: Consider the lilies of the field. Look at the fuzz on a baby's ear. Read in the back yard with the sun on your face. Learn to be happy. And think of life as a terminal illness, because if you do, you will live it with joy and passion as it ought to be lived".
Thursday, January 29, 2009
nervous
I watch
the face
in his sleep
i see
a prick of
discontentment
at day
covered by laughter
the world
sees
a strong man
crisscrossed
is the journey
love
happiness
trust
broken
to pieces
in the name of
the pillar of thoughts
for life
so be it
crashed
and crushed
getting-up
falling
and getting up again
layers of love
cracked
abandoned
the wounded hearts
are they curable?
I am
by your side
reaching and gauging
the emotions
surrendering
love
passion
hope
happiness
often
untimely
seemingly arrogant
heartless
i watch
your face
in your sleep
i see the prick of discontentment
you
as i am
we are nervous
with this journey
the face
in his sleep
i see
a prick of
discontentment
at day
covered by laughter
the world
sees
a strong man
crisscrossed
is the journey
love
happiness
trust
broken
to pieces
in the name of
the pillar of thoughts
for life
so be it
crashed
and crushed
getting-up
falling
and getting up again
layers of love
cracked
abandoned
the wounded hearts
are they curable?
I am
by your side
reaching and gauging
the emotions
surrendering
love
passion
hope
happiness
often
untimely
seemingly arrogant
heartless
i watch
your face
in your sleep
i see the prick of discontentment
you
as i am
we are nervous
with this journey
gementar
ku tatap
wajah
di depanku
dalam lena
terpalit keresahan
yang
dikelam
dengan tawa
dunia
melihat
tamamnya
seorang
lelaki
bersiur
perjalanan
cinta
bahagia
percaya
terlerai
berkecai
demi pegangan
paksi pedoman
hidup
biar terhempas
jatuh berkecai
bangun
jatuh
dan bangun lagi
lapisan cinta
retak kasih
terabai
robeknya hati
apakah terubat
aku
kini
di sisi
menyelam rasa
berserah
cinta
kasih
harapan
bahagia
sering
ditepis
nampak angkuh
tak berhati
ku tatap
wajah mu
dalam lena
terpalit keresahan
kau
seperti aku
gementar
dengan perjalanan ini..
wajah
di depanku
dalam lena
terpalit keresahan
yang
dikelam
dengan tawa
dunia
melihat
tamamnya
seorang
lelaki
bersiur
perjalanan
cinta
bahagia
percaya
terlerai
berkecai
demi pegangan
paksi pedoman
hidup
biar terhempas
jatuh berkecai
bangun
jatuh
dan bangun lagi
lapisan cinta
retak kasih
terabai
robeknya hati
apakah terubat
aku
kini
di sisi
menyelam rasa
berserah
cinta
kasih
harapan
bahagia
sering
ditepis
nampak angkuh
tak berhati
ku tatap
wajah mu
dalam lena
terpalit keresahan
kau
seperti aku
gementar
dengan perjalanan ini..
Wednesday, January 28, 2009
Psyched up
Making a point to chart my exercise/toning regime, praying hard that this is not another hangar-hangat taik ayam - again. Must admit that i'm getting excited about the whole thing - the effort and time and the results so far. No doubt there are lots - i mean - LOTS - to be shed and toned, but i'd like to believe that this is another of my 'on my way' thing.
Summary of Tips I gathered from my trainer
1)Heart rate pyramid
a) 80% above
b) 61-79%
c) Below 60%
2)Weight loss
stretching and exercising will make you sweat and all but if heart rate is of
pyramid @a)
weight loss in short time but flabby
pyramid @b)
weight loss in longer time but firm / toned - recommended
pyramid @c)
weight loss very loooonnng time – not effective, good for weight maintenance
3)Me :
max heart rate : 179
recommended heart rate : 110 - 143 (pyramid @b)
4)Weight loss package regime
= combo management of food intake + exercise + enough sleep (min 6 hours)!
includes MINIMUM 8 glasses of who-aa a day
5)Kena stretch out lepas exercise – it’s the foooood to the muscle
6)Food intake vs blood group. Eat right for your type. Interesting!
-------------
Adapun seketika ceriteranya - balik kampong @ hari raya cina - GONE!!!
i binged on food like there was no tomorrow. Sob! Sob! Sob! Gamaknya if DH ada... i am loss for words to express on his behalf! No - kalau dia ada - i suppose i wud only have the chance to dream on food-bingeing! I wish he's here..
Got back in SubangIndera yesterday evening. Right after Maghrib, I found myself at the gym.. Alhamdulillah. Semangat wanita melayu ku masih mantap rupanya..
45 minutes on the treadmill, and 2 (only!) sets of circuit training for lower part.
--------------
Conversation with DH this morning ... he's changing his life style altogether - increase training time, reduce work time (as work wont complete anyway.. tau tak pa, ogrhang dok cakap tak nak dengark!) - training TWICE a day! And when DH trains, HE TRAINS & SWEATS BIG TIME. Adoiii.... baghru ler teman nak catch up, dia dah double the speed, macamana ni torts! panix!!
--------------
While walking on the way for today's corporate day gathering, a young engineer sapa and shared his findings on the eat-right for your blood type. A motivational support there..
Lunch hour another young engineer came into my room. Ghupenya mamat ni pun has been to the same gym in Taipan. No wonder he has been throwing light remarks on my gym trips in the last couple of weeks.. Cheekily he was disappointed when i told him that i trained at the Ladies Area - ;) We exchanged tips and experience with the trainings/trainers. Good. Another motivation.
Oh! I love this good feeling - I am all so psyched up.
Can't wait to go for my session tonite.
Summary of Tips I gathered from my trainer
1)Heart rate pyramid
a) 80% above
b) 61-79%
c) Below 60%
2)Weight loss
stretching and exercising will make you sweat and all but if heart rate is of
pyramid @a)
weight loss in short time but flabby
pyramid @b)
weight loss in longer time but firm / toned - recommended
pyramid @c)
weight loss very loooonnng time – not effective, good for weight maintenance
3)Me :
max heart rate : 179
recommended heart rate : 110 - 143 (pyramid @b)
4)Weight loss package regime
= combo management of food intake + exercise + enough sleep (min 6 hours)!
includes MINIMUM 8 glasses of who-aa a day
5)Kena stretch out lepas exercise – it’s the foooood to the muscle
6)Food intake vs blood group. Eat right for your type. Interesting!
-------------
Adapun seketika ceriteranya - balik kampong @ hari raya cina - GONE!!!
i binged on food like there was no tomorrow. Sob! Sob! Sob! Gamaknya if DH ada... i am loss for words to express on his behalf! No - kalau dia ada - i suppose i wud only have the chance to dream on food-bingeing! I wish he's here..
Got back in SubangIndera yesterday evening. Right after Maghrib, I found myself at the gym.. Alhamdulillah. Semangat wanita melayu ku masih mantap rupanya..
45 minutes on the treadmill, and 2 (only!) sets of circuit training for lower part.
--------------
Conversation with DH this morning ... he's changing his life style altogether - increase training time, reduce work time (as work wont complete anyway.. tau tak pa, ogrhang dok cakap tak nak dengark!) - training TWICE a day! And when DH trains, HE TRAINS & SWEATS BIG TIME. Adoiii.... baghru ler teman nak catch up, dia dah double the speed, macamana ni torts! panix!!
--------------
While walking on the way for today's corporate day gathering, a young engineer sapa and shared his findings on the eat-right for your blood type. A motivational support there..
Lunch hour another young engineer came into my room. Ghupenya mamat ni pun has been to the same gym in Taipan. No wonder he has been throwing light remarks on my gym trips in the last couple of weeks.. Cheekily he was disappointed when i told him that i trained at the Ladies Area - ;) We exchanged tips and experience with the trainings/trainers. Good. Another motivation.
Oh! I love this good feeling - I am all so psyched up.
Can't wait to go for my session tonite.
Friday, January 23, 2009
why-o-why
I was at Mandarin Oriental for a company event which i thought is rather extravaganza and unnecessary. I'm not going to elaborate into the lavishness - simply think it's not worth getting attention of my thots..
However, while standing in one corner observing the crowd, i saw two attractive looking ladies walking towards the entrance of the Emerald Room. I appreciate the apprearance of one of them, her striking movements and simple yet elegant dressing. Too bad - she's wearing this 'perasan' look - that spelled so loudly 'i know i look good'. It killed my appreciation, it ruined the beauty. I guessed she's from the Client-clan.
What ever happen to sifat humble orang melayu? Be it one is lawa, or intelligent or successful in life, why-o-why la have to put on that air of superiority.
Wallahi - this is not about me being inferior, it's just that i could not help having this 'who do you think you are to carry yourself the way you do?'
No appearance is beautiful nor complete without the humble-being.
By the way, later i spotted her on the side stage - playing a back-up singer.
However, while standing in one corner observing the crowd, i saw two attractive looking ladies walking towards the entrance of the Emerald Room. I appreciate the apprearance of one of them, her striking movements and simple yet elegant dressing. Too bad - she's wearing this 'perasan' look - that spelled so loudly 'i know i look good'. It killed my appreciation, it ruined the beauty. I guessed she's from the Client-clan.
What ever happen to sifat humble orang melayu? Be it one is lawa, or intelligent or successful in life, why-o-why la have to put on that air of superiority.
Wallahi - this is not about me being inferior, it's just that i could not help having this 'who do you think you are to carry yourself the way you do?'
No appearance is beautiful nor complete without the humble-being.
By the way, later i spotted her on the side stage - playing a back-up singer.
Thursday, January 22, 2009
the 2 pictures
When i was driving towards parking at Al-Falah, i saw a familiar beamer approaching the parking from the opposite direction. It was just minutes before maghrib but since it was raining earlier, it was pretty dark that i could not ascertain the plate number. As the 2 cars appraoched each other - it's confirmed that the beamer belongs to my SrGM at work. Inside were him and wife. I waved at them as i passed to enter the muslimat's entrance.
Insyaallah.... one day, DH and I would come together.
While listening to the tazkirah, I spotted Sister R at the front row. I last met her in Makbul Restaurant while she was having dinner with her husband - so happened, the nite prior to their journey for Hajj.
Then, we exchanged warm hugs, commenting that we hardly see one another except at Terawikh. That's how i first met Sister R back in the year 2006. She started making conversations. I was not comfortable talking to strangers on personal matters, on top of that - talking in the masjid, when one should be concentrating on making doa, seeking solace, and get close to Him. However Sister R was very pleasant, sisterly and perhaps she's a God-sent, who could tell... Along the way I shared that i just had a divorce bla, bla, bla, bla. Could sensed her genuine concern and she was all so comforting and gave lots of encouraging words.
Thot i owe it to her for 'appearing' for me at the stage of my life. So i decided to share my latest development.. that i got married again. I could see her happiness in her eyes for me.
Sister R approached me as she was leaving the restaurant - 'It must be your rezeki. We are leaving for Hajj tomorrow. Do you have any special doa for me to extend for you?". I gave her a big hug, asked for her to send my salaam to Rasulullah SAW... and of course i requested her to make doa for Allah to open ways for me and DH to be together soon, etc., etc. My eyes followed Sister R walking side by side with her husband towards their car. Masyaallah, i was envious with the life she has.. at that age(late 50s), having a simple dinner with her beloved husband - due for a journey to Makkah - together. Ya Allah bless me too, please.
After the tazkirah, i approached Sister R, tapping her shoulder "Ya Hajjah, Ya Hajjah..". She turned, looked at me, her eyes beaming. We hugged each other. "I made doa for you sayang. I did. Of so many pesanan from people, your smiling face appeared when i was making doa. Yes i made doa for you, once in Jabbal Rahmah, another at the Arafah." I was speachless - sebak rasa. She continued "i made doa for you.. may Allah makbul." Syahdu..! I silently continued with my doa in this house of Allah.
After a while, i felt a hand holding my arms. I turned to see an aunt - whom i also gotto know during Terawikh sessions.
She's in her late 60s - I noticed this elderly aunt walking independently joining the saff, the iftaar and the like.. wishing Mak is as sihat and strong to enjoy the nikmat being in this house of Allah - with the rest of these beautiful people who are there seeking solace. I wonder where are her children.. Got the chance to share my thoughts with 'ibu' one nite(she insisted that i call her that), and our relationship began, with her bringing especially for me a jar of acar buah from Singapore, cooking some dishes ensuring i have my share at iftar.. Yes - there's so much love in the house of Allah.
We hugged each other and she asked about Mak. I commented that i was looking out for her the past few weeks, noticed that she has not been there for quite a while. Ibu related that she has been attending to her daughter whose Pilot-husband just passed away during the recent wukuf.
Innalillahi wainna ilaihirraji'un. I was lost for words again, very well knowing the split. On one end it's - Masyaallah! so beautiful - a definite jannah for him. On the other, it must be difficult for his wife and the three young kids. "He's only 50...tak sangka-sangka. Dia tak sakit apa-apa pun. Rasa macam daun kering gugur..". Ibu also related that 2 months ago the youngest 9 year old grandson woke up crying - as he had a dream that his dad passed away in Makkah. And Ibu, as i would if i were in her shoes, told her grandson then that kalau mimpi orang meninggal meaning orang tu kenyang..
Lahawlawalaquwwata - who could tell.
Ya Allah - Engkau Maha Berkuasa.
I extended my condolence to ibu's daughter, hope Allah gives her the strengths.
Lots of thots from tonite ....
2 pictures -
1) Kehidupan - just like i have always wished for
2) Kematian - could happen any time
Ya Rabb, Engkau menentukan segalanya.
Aku mohon Ya Allah, sekira baik untukku dan suamiku, berikan kami kesempatan untuk hidup bersama. Hanya Engkau yang mengetahui apa yang terbaik untuk kami.
Aku mohon Ya Allah, berkati kehidupanku, suamiku, kaum keluargaku, sahabat handai dan para ahli jemaah serta semua orang-orang yang aku sayangi... Ameen.
-------------
Called and spoke to DH - related the 2 pictures, and a "i just call to say i love you."
Insyaallah.... one day, DH and I would come together.
While listening to the tazkirah, I spotted Sister R at the front row. I last met her in Makbul Restaurant while she was having dinner with her husband - so happened, the nite prior to their journey for Hajj.
Then, we exchanged warm hugs, commenting that we hardly see one another except at Terawikh. That's how i first met Sister R back in the year 2006. She started making conversations. I was not comfortable talking to strangers on personal matters, on top of that - talking in the masjid, when one should be concentrating on making doa, seeking solace, and get close to Him. However Sister R was very pleasant, sisterly and perhaps she's a God-sent, who could tell... Along the way I shared that i just had a divorce bla, bla, bla, bla. Could sensed her genuine concern and she was all so comforting and gave lots of encouraging words.
Thot i owe it to her for 'appearing' for me at the stage of my life. So i decided to share my latest development.. that i got married again. I could see her happiness in her eyes for me.
Sister R approached me as she was leaving the restaurant - 'It must be your rezeki. We are leaving for Hajj tomorrow. Do you have any special doa for me to extend for you?". I gave her a big hug, asked for her to send my salaam to Rasulullah SAW... and of course i requested her to make doa for Allah to open ways for me and DH to be together soon, etc., etc. My eyes followed Sister R walking side by side with her husband towards their car. Masyaallah, i was envious with the life she has.. at that age(late 50s), having a simple dinner with her beloved husband - due for a journey to Makkah - together. Ya Allah bless me too, please.
After the tazkirah, i approached Sister R, tapping her shoulder "Ya Hajjah, Ya Hajjah..". She turned, looked at me, her eyes beaming. We hugged each other. "I made doa for you sayang. I did. Of so many pesanan from people, your smiling face appeared when i was making doa. Yes i made doa for you, once in Jabbal Rahmah, another at the Arafah." I was speachless - sebak rasa. She continued "i made doa for you.. may Allah makbul." Syahdu..! I silently continued with my doa in this house of Allah.
After a while, i felt a hand holding my arms. I turned to see an aunt - whom i also gotto know during Terawikh sessions.
She's in her late 60s - I noticed this elderly aunt walking independently joining the saff, the iftaar and the like.. wishing Mak is as sihat and strong to enjoy the nikmat being in this house of Allah - with the rest of these beautiful people who are there seeking solace. I wonder where are her children.. Got the chance to share my thoughts with 'ibu' one nite(she insisted that i call her that), and our relationship began, with her bringing especially for me a jar of acar buah from Singapore, cooking some dishes ensuring i have my share at iftar.. Yes - there's so much love in the house of Allah.
We hugged each other and she asked about Mak. I commented that i was looking out for her the past few weeks, noticed that she has not been there for quite a while. Ibu related that she has been attending to her daughter whose Pilot-husband just passed away during the recent wukuf.
Innalillahi wainna ilaihirraji'un. I was lost for words again, very well knowing the split. On one end it's - Masyaallah! so beautiful - a definite jannah for him. On the other, it must be difficult for his wife and the three young kids. "He's only 50...tak sangka-sangka. Dia tak sakit apa-apa pun. Rasa macam daun kering gugur..". Ibu also related that 2 months ago the youngest 9 year old grandson woke up crying - as he had a dream that his dad passed away in Makkah. And Ibu, as i would if i were in her shoes, told her grandson then that kalau mimpi orang meninggal meaning orang tu kenyang..
Lahawlawalaquwwata - who could tell.
Ya Allah - Engkau Maha Berkuasa.
I extended my condolence to ibu's daughter, hope Allah gives her the strengths.
Lots of thots from tonite ....
2 pictures -
1) Kehidupan - just like i have always wished for
2) Kematian - could happen any time
Ya Rabb, Engkau menentukan segalanya.
Aku mohon Ya Allah, sekira baik untukku dan suamiku, berikan kami kesempatan untuk hidup bersama. Hanya Engkau yang mengetahui apa yang terbaik untuk kami.
Aku mohon Ya Allah, berkati kehidupanku, suamiku, kaum keluargaku, sahabat handai dan para ahli jemaah serta semua orang-orang yang aku sayangi... Ameen.
-------------
Called and spoke to DH - related the 2 pictures, and a "i just call to say i love you."
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
Ridlizz
each time - it jumps from nowhere - i suppose out of its fear of me - it scares the #^@% out of me!
And each time - i'd swear - the next time i would be more alert of its presence. But no, i still jump!
i hate the cicak !!!
why cant anyone come up with something like the Ridsect or the Mortein.. there's definitely a market for it - I need a Ridlizz!
And each time - i'd swear - the next time i would be more alert of its presence. But no, i still jump!
i hate the cicak !!!
why cant anyone come up with something like the Ridsect or the Mortein.. there's definitely a market for it - I need a Ridlizz!
a sad world
The whole world wept on 9-11,
The whole world still shudder thinking of 9-11 and it's magnitude
What and where is gaza in comparison to 9-11?
We live in such a sad-sad world!
The whole world still shudder thinking of 9-11 and it's magnitude
What and where is gaza in comparison to 9-11?
We live in such a sad-sad world!
Friday, January 16, 2009
God Sent
Spoke long to Sister N last nite after the hadith class. It's always good to speak to her. I admire her strength and faith .. a woman of strength she is - a God Sent to me.
Sent a note thanking her and came the reply.
waa'laikumusalaam warahmatullahiwabarakatu ...
insyallah .... will keep you in my prayers.
Remember ... in whatever results we want in our lives, the formula is the same :
(1) usaha +
(2) ikhtiar +
(3) doa' and then
(4) tawakkal ( leaving it in allah's good hands) ...
and then when u get the outcome :
(5a) REDHA if it did not turn out the way u want or
(5b) Bersyukur if u get what u want.
Today is Friday ... good day untuk banyakkan doa' .... we still have some hours yet until end of asar ... its my favourite day of the week :-)
Love.
Sister N
I love you too - and i pray Allah bless you with all that you pray and hope for in life and the hereafter.
Sent a note thanking her and came the reply.
waa'laikumusalaam warahmatullahiwabarakatu ...
insyallah .... will keep you in my prayers.
Remember ... in whatever results we want in our lives, the formula is the same :
(1) usaha +
(2) ikhtiar +
(3) doa' and then
(4) tawakkal ( leaving it in allah's good hands) ...
and then when u get the outcome :
(5a) REDHA if it did not turn out the way u want or
(5b) Bersyukur if u get what u want.
Today is Friday ... good day untuk banyakkan doa' .... we still have some hours yet until end of asar ... its my favourite day of the week :-)
Love.
Sister N
I love you too - and i pray Allah bless you with all that you pray and hope for in life and the hereafter.
Tuesday, January 13, 2009
my weekend sanctuaries
Life has it for me that i am tuned as such that my activities do not depend on the availability of others. It was difficult in the beginning - that as much as i could, i avoided being in the public - not wanting to see 'the togetherness' that i failed to have - or rather - that i was not blessed with, for reasons i now know.
I still do feel envious - at times - on those having the leisure spending time with their family and love ones - tak kisah ler kat mana or buat apa. These lot come as a package and that's envious - again, at times.
Alhamdulillah, time is a good heal. Am counting on it :)
I now have the options to either be on my own or if i like, welcome the company of others. Sounds selfish? No - it's a defence mechanism.
.jpg)
i appreciate the calmness,
dalam kesamaran bilik penuh selesa,
jejari halus membelai, mengurut,
melayan ceritera ku
sentuhan demi sentuhan
aku terlena...
.jpg)
i appreciate the calmness
berjemaah dengan wajah-wajah
yang sering berpesan
tentang tujuan perjalanan
mengajak bersama mengingati
dan memuji mu Tuhan
aku terjaga...
I still do feel envious - at times - on those having the leisure spending time with their family and love ones - tak kisah ler kat mana or buat apa. These lot come as a package and that's envious - again, at times.
Alhamdulillah, time is a good heal. Am counting on it :)
I now have the options to either be on my own or if i like, welcome the company of others. Sounds selfish? No - it's a defence mechanism.
.jpg)
i appreciate the calmness,
dalam kesamaran bilik penuh selesa,
jejari halus membelai, mengurut,
melayan ceritera ku
sentuhan demi sentuhan
aku terlena...
.jpg)
i appreciate the calmness
berjemaah dengan wajah-wajah
yang sering berpesan
tentang tujuan perjalanan
mengajak bersama mengingati
dan memuji mu Tuhan
aku terjaga...
Tepuk Dada
We are so helpless - and cannot do much on the situation in Gaza. But each of us can do this bit. It is our choice - yours and mine. Let's start looking for the other options...
Sunday, January 11, 2009
When hardships fall, what level do you fall in?
Fatawa Arkaan Al-Islam- Translated by Abu Az-Zubayr Harrison
We all pass through difficult stages. Hardships are part and parcel of life. But the way we react to them makes us different as people. As a scholar of the past said people look the same during ease, but are different when hardships strike. Sheikh Bin Uthaymeen explained the different levels of people in a beautiful manner.
People, during afflictions and difficulties, are at four levels:
1. Becoming angry
People get angry in their heart as if they are angry with their Lord. So, they become angry with what Allah decreed for them, and this is not permissible. It's possible that it could even lead to disbelief. Allah says:
"And among mankind is he who worships Allah as it were, upon the very edge (i.e. in doubt); if good befalls him, he's content therewith, but if a trial befalls him, he turns back on his face (i.e. reverts back to disbelief after embracing Islam). He loses both this world and the Hereafter." (Qur'an, 22:11)
Others express their anger by their tongue, calling and supplicating for destruction or ruin. This is also impermissible. Some others slap cheeks, rip their clothes, and pull out their hair. None of this is allowed. It's in contradiction to having the required patience.
2. Remaining patient
A poet once said, "Patience, like its name, is bitter in taste, yet its outcomes are sweeter than honey."
The patient ones bear (the affliction) although they dislike it. Their faith prevents them from becoming angry. So, the period of affliction and period without hardship are not the same to him. This (level) is obligatory because Allah commanded the people to be patient, saying: "And be patient. Certainly, Allah is with the patient ones." (Qur'an, 8:46)
3. Being pleased
Some are pleased with the affliction. Things are pretty much the same for them. There is no difficulty facing them and they don't bear it as something heavy.
This (level) is preferred but not an obligation according to the most correct of opinions.
4. Being thankful
Being grateful is the highest level. This is the state when a person thanks Allah for the affliction that has befallen him. He knows that such a difficulty is a means of expiation for his sins and perhaps a cause for an increase in his good deeds. The Prophet (peace be upon him) said:
"There's no affliction that strikes a Muslim except that Allah expiates with it (his sins), even with a thorn that may prick him." (Al-Bukhari and Muslim)
k e m e l u t
(I)
resah dengan kemelut persengketaan dunia
tak terdaya melawan penindasan demi penindasan
suara jahil jauh lebih lantang dan berkuasa
itulah hakikat kehidupan dunia
hanya airmata
mengiringi doa
(II)
resah dengan kemelut penantian
tak terdaya merancang untuk esok
suara hati turut gementar
munkin salah fokus penantian ini
siapa tahu - kematian yang datang dulu
itulah hakikat kehidupan insan
hanya airmata
mengiringi kesalan kealpaan diri
mengiringi kesyukuran - detik yang masih Tuhan berikan
resah dengan kemelut persengketaan dunia
tak terdaya melawan penindasan demi penindasan
suara jahil jauh lebih lantang dan berkuasa
itulah hakikat kehidupan dunia
hanya airmata
mengiringi doa
(II)
resah dengan kemelut penantian
tak terdaya merancang untuk esok
suara hati turut gementar
munkin salah fokus penantian ini
siapa tahu - kematian yang datang dulu
itulah hakikat kehidupan insan
hanya airmata
mengiringi kesalan kealpaan diri
mengiringi kesyukuran - detik yang masih Tuhan berikan
Ilmu - various pengajaran from hadith
Notes from Madrasah USJ4 - 10/1/09
Ustaz Muhammad bin Abdullah
Hadith 1
========
To those who seek after ilmu -
malaikat, langit & bumi, binatang and other makhluk - turut mendoakan meminta Allah berikan kemudahan di dunia & syurga di akhirat
Ilmu
a)fardhu ain
-- about hukum hakam - islam syumul - merangkumi
-- about ibadah
b) fardhu kifayah
-- about membangunkan tamadun kemanusiaan - dunia & akhirat
Nabi Muhammad SAW meninggalkan ilmu kepada ummatnya
Ilmu jika diamalkan ada ganjaran / kebaikan
Ilmu ---> Amalan
Amalan
a) untuk diri - eg solat/puasa/zakat
b) untuk keluarga - eg anak isteri yang soleh/solehah
c) untuk masyarakat - eg adakan majlis ilmu
d) untuk negara - eg bangunkan negara islam
e) untuk ummah islamiah - beyond race / nationality
Paradox
5 amalan ber-paradox (ketidakseimbangan)
eg One who focus on masyarakat, may neglect the family
therefore the importance of jemaah - each helping the other dalam amalan
Hadith 2
========
Mencari ilmu adalah fardhu bagi setiap ornag Islam
Perkara yang tak biasa didengar tak semestinya tidak ujud / tidak benar
Jangan merasa cukup dengan ilmu --- bermula kejahilan - sombong
Hadith 3
========
Allah meng-elok-kan rupa orang yang mendengar & menyampaikan kepada ornag lain
Ilmu adalah milik Allah and Allah berikan kepada siapa yang dikehendakiNya
Attending majlis ilmu on x - one could learn on y, jika diizinkanNya
Belajar }
Mengajar }
Mendengar } Ilmu
Mencintai }
Wallaahu a'lam
Ustaz Muhammad bin Abdullah
Hadith 1
========
To those who seek after ilmu -
malaikat, langit & bumi, binatang and other makhluk - turut mendoakan meminta Allah berikan kemudahan di dunia & syurga di akhirat
Ilmu
a)fardhu ain
-- about hukum hakam - islam syumul - merangkumi
-- about ibadah
b) fardhu kifayah
-- about membangunkan tamadun kemanusiaan - dunia & akhirat
Nabi Muhammad SAW meninggalkan ilmu kepada ummatnya
Ilmu jika diamalkan ada ganjaran / kebaikan
Ilmu ---> Amalan
Amalan
a) untuk diri - eg solat/puasa/zakat
b) untuk keluarga - eg anak isteri yang soleh/solehah
c) untuk masyarakat - eg adakan majlis ilmu
d) untuk negara - eg bangunkan negara islam
e) untuk ummah islamiah - beyond race / nationality
Paradox
5 amalan ber-paradox (ketidakseimbangan)
eg One who focus on masyarakat, may neglect the family
therefore the importance of jemaah - each helping the other dalam amalan
Hadith 2
========
Mencari ilmu adalah fardhu bagi setiap ornag Islam
Perkara yang tak biasa didengar tak semestinya tidak ujud / tidak benar
Jangan merasa cukup dengan ilmu --- bermula kejahilan - sombong
Hadith 3
========
Allah meng-elok-kan rupa orang yang mendengar & menyampaikan kepada ornag lain
Ilmu adalah milik Allah and Allah berikan kepada siapa yang dikehendakiNya
Attending majlis ilmu on x - one could learn on y, jika diizinkanNya
Belajar }
Mengajar }
Mendengar } Ilmu
Mencintai }
Wallaahu a'lam
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