Fine

It's been really quiet at home this week. O yes - workload at the office is keeping me very busy, but after office hour bila balik rumah - it's very quiet. I'd come home - tell bibik to prepare dinner and then had a very quiet dinner. Don't even feel like watching tv.

Q has gone back to kampong - cuti sekolah. So has Mak who has been with me since the signs turned reality.

Kesian Mak - all her life she worries for me. I once told her to stop worrying, that 'i am in control of things' surrounding me i.e my marriage, in-laws, work etc, etc. But mother knows best - it's their instinct. While i did not see what's in for me - she had known all along.. therefore the worries. Kesian Mak.. Now that the signs turned reality - i couldn't tell her that i am ok, could i?

She left with tears - worrying that i'd be lonely. And she's been calling from home - each subuh and maghrib. Each time I told her i am fine. Really - i am fine. It's been quiet but i am not lonely.

So what's the difference? My definition - quiet: no/less noise; lonely: feeling of emptiness. Current status - it has been quiet - but no - i am not feeling lonely. Good signs :)

Left d office about 6:30 pm yesterday. It's a smooth traffic ~ less than 30 mins - dah sampai rumah. Lepak kejap - took my shower and had dinner. After maghrib, for the first time - i hand-washed my car. Bibik terkejut when i told her to prepare the bucket and towels. She asked what for and terjerit when i told her i wanted to wash my car ~ "biar saya yang cuci, puan". I told her i need some exercise. She reminded me of the gym in the facility which i very seldom frequent.

So I washed my car. It was breezy, the stars were sparkling in the sky and there was me in my own thots. Very harmonious indeed - my discovery tonite of the place (that i have been living for the last 17 months). Hmm - things i've taken for granted therefore missing out in life.

I am now scheduling to take pleasure from the gym next.

Mak - i am really fine. Alhamdulillah.