beauty lies in the eye of the beholder

when i was much younger - when mak was about my age now - i remember her often asking me on her looks. At that age – I wondered why she needed to ask? To me she's beautiful - still is with defined features. I got only a portion of her features - and thankful to God.

Each time I went through photos of her days in college - always thought she's hot. I would be so far behind if she's born during my days - or if i'm born during hers. Again - thank God. I am envious - yet proud :)

Apart from those photos in college, as far as i could remember - mak has always been - well - not thin; not plum either becoz she's leggy and has the height. Even now - she's taller than me. Kesian ... and beloved arwah abah used to call me 'katek'. Whose fault was that? Actually - can't tell - because abah was tall as well and so is my one and only beloved brother - adik. Then - katek pun no problem - becoz i was sweet and 'small'. Those were the days..

I called mak semalam - asked her - first - if she think i look older than my age. She answered with a specially controlled and calm tone of "napa yang?". I could read her thots – something to do with hubby. Jeng-jeng-jeng! My answer – “saja tanya, mak dulu pun selalu tanya, kan..?”. I know she’s still with “something-to-do-with-menantu-aku-ni” thot when she said “dak lah”.

My second question – “Mak nampak macam tort ni lebih tua dari S (hubby) dak?”. A soft “awat yang?” came next. Hmm… talk about the level of trust mak has in my hubby... I told the truth - that hubby’s birthday semalam reminded me of my years as well, bla, bla, bla … along the line that man even botak and with the bulges could still look good.. bla, bla, bla. Mak gave me a long answer - surrounding the beauty lies in the eye of the beholder line (in melayu version) – suppose to “pull” me up.

Then I came to my final question “Am I fat?” and she said “Yes”. Gloomy – gloomy – gloomy - still gloomy.

gloomy

gloomy - but i can hear the birds twitting. The sun is shining fine. Why is it then that i'm feeling gloomy.

Yesterday was hubby's b'day... With 4 months age difference - i somehow found myself calculating - and recalculating. Wonder if others go thru this - checking and rechecking the number of years we survive life. Hubby and I - we've aged this far...? we've been together this long..? "Where are we heading?" the question popped.

He's balding alright - he started after our 2nd year of marriage. Nope - it's hereditary - my father in law is bald as well. So - it's not completely my doing! In the beginning he kept checking on his balding progress. He was a little disturbed and depressed then. I symphatised - and played my part - convinced him that the hair does not matter. Take Sean Connery, Bruce Willis :) but never copy attempts by Sami Vellu or Sheikh Kadir! Thee hee! Yet i must say - hubby's looking good everyday.

With man it does not matter if you are bald or if you've got the extra bulge. But the same extra bulge on woman plus the accumulated years often make days gloomy..gloomy..