q u e s t i o n m a r k s

?
h o w
c o u l d
s o m e o n e
s o
p r e c i o u s
c a u s e
s o
m u c h
h e a r t a c h e
?
h a s
y o u r
w o u n d
t u r n e d
y o u
b l i n d
a n d
h a r d
o r
h a s
m y
w o u n d
t u r n e d
m e
s e a r c h i n g
a n d
v u l n e r a b l e
?
t i m e
a n d
d i s t a n c e
?

. . .

suluh

revisited
compiled
sad :(

it has been a long winding road
still is

reactivated
Suluh is reborn

Revisit - GODSEND

Sunday, August 06, 2006
G O D S E N D

"Guidance of the Day:
Making it Happen: Stop trying so hard to make it happen. Stop doing so much, if doing so much is wearing you out or not achieving the desired results. Stop thinking so much and so hard about it. Stop worrying so about it. Stop trying to force, to manipulate, to coerce, or to make it happen. Making things happen is controlling. We can take positive action to help things happen. We can do our part. But many of us do much more than our part. Controlling is self-defeating. It doesn't work. By over-extending ourselves to make something happen, we may actually be stopping it from happening.

Do your part in relaxed, peaceful harmony. Then let it go. Just let it go. Force yourself to let it go, if necessary. Put as much energy into letting go as you have into trying to control. You will get much better results. It may not happen. It may not happen the way we wanted it to and hoped it would. But our controlling wouldn't have made it happen either. Learn to let things happen because that's what they'll do anyway. And while we are waiting to see what happens, we'll be happier and so will those around us. [The Language of Letting Go]

Food for Thought:
Watch, wait. Time will unfold and reveal its purpose. Patience cannot be forced. It is a gift, one that closely follows acceptance and gratitude. "

counting again

17 days to go.
sigh..

The wiggleys

Was working in the balcony - attending to my pot plants. They've grown - beranak pinak since my last socializing with them. I needed to re-pot.

Had earlier decided not be interupted - cancelled/postponed all outside schedule to take my time doing things in-house. It's a peaceful morning.

Engelberg Humperdinck was in the background. Singing along, 'travelled' to those days in almarhum arwah abah's green peugeot 204 PN8342. Quite melekakan, bila sedar - terasa lenguh la pulak. Stretched - sempat danced a few rounds to the music.

Felt good - thought it would be nice if hubby was around. Then again - he could be a pain - who knows? :) while he's not here - i'd savour my peaceful moments.

Bumped into the wiggleys - the earth worms that is - while re-potting. Eeewe! autoreact - fingers genggam, tangan held back, kerekot. Geli is not the word, perhaps - jijik. If it was not for the glove i had on. Cound not imagine a direct contact with these little yulky creatures, despite appreciating the wonders they are doing to the plants. In their dark world - they are making rooms allowing the greens to breathe. Masyaallah! Using my glove - distributed them - making sure each of my pot hosts the wiggleys.

While watching one wiggling patiently into the wet soil, it came to me that one day -jijik or yulky - we would be going into their world.

In their dark world... Some serious thinking there. Life is too short.

the walk ii

An insight that leaves me thinking...
"...They are all of roads/paths leading somewhere and trees that grow high up into the sky. Coincident? I don’t think so...."

the walk

the promise

If you wait for me then
Ill come for you
Although Ive traveled far
I always hold a place for you in my heart
If you think of me,
if you miss me once in awhile
Then Ill return to you
Ill return and fill that space in your heart
Remembering
Your touch
Your kiss
Your warm embrace
Ill find my way back to you
If youll be waiting
If you dream of me like I dream of you
In a place thats warm and dark
In a place where I can feel the beating of your heart
Remembering Your touch
Your kiss
Your warm embrace
Ill find my way back to you
If youll be waiting
Ive longed for you
and I have desired
To see your face
your smile
To be with you wherever you are
Remembering
Your touch
Your kiss
Your warm embrace
Ill find my way back to you
If youll be waiting
Ive longed for you
and I have desired
To see your face,
your smile
To be with you wherever you are
Remembering
Your touch
Your kiss
Your warm embrace
Ill find my way back to you
Please say youll be waiting
Together again
It would feel so good to be
In your arms
Where all my journeys end
If you can make a promise
if its one that you can keep,
I vow to come for you
If you wait for me
and say youll hold
A place for me in your heart.

affirmation

w o k e
i n
t h e
m i d s t
o f
t h e
n i t e
t r y i n g
to
r e a f f i r m
i f
i
w a s
t h e r e
w i t h
y o u
o r
i f
y o u
w e r e
h e r e
w i t h
m e

i a m h e r e o n m y o w n

your call

no expressions left unsaid
no gestures left undone
no prayers left unsent

i am about done

it's your call

the state of being

to

1) zerorize expectation
2) no one-some
3) pray harder