God has answered my prayers in Baitullah. Received the 'signs' when i was there - the first sent me running to kaabah - i prayed and cried so hard... I prayed for the best of my marriage - i prayed Tuhan memudahkan perjalanan hidup ini.
Just before tawaf widak - my heart went pumping so fast - butterflies in my stomach - i was so nervous. The only time i felt this way was when i received the phone call from home that arwah abah tenat. I was pretty sure that this time it was becoz i didn't actually want to leave makkah... hati tersangatlah beratnya. I found so much peace in every other aspect - except for the signs.
I heard the voice in my head asking 'why need to go home?' - no answer. Then i heard myself praying 'Ya Tuhan - beri petunjukMu - how cud i stay here longer? aku cinta segala yang kutemu di sini... Sedihnya hatiku nak meninggalkan rumahMu. Ya Allah berilah petunjukMu.' - repeatedly.
Dalam kemelut seribu kegundahan - a male voice gave me his salam. (This is real. It's not malaikat ke ape - coz nope - i'm not 'there' yet;). A 'young' arab chap was resting on one of the sofas at the hotel lobby. Mak and I were sitting very nearby minding our own biznes. Afterall for me - hati tengah gundah gulana giler
We exchanged inputs on our origins, bla, bla, bla. Mohamad was a mutawif from Cairo. Being polite - I showed some interest asking further about his group of jemaah. Well - if it cud help divert my focus on my heartache - why not. He asked if i really wanted to go to Cairo. I thot - very irrelevant.. macam la dia nak bawak aku? Then "Are you married?". Tersentak kejap tapi control 'macho' and said "yes". By then the other jemaah including 2-3 orang anak dara joined us and i got them in the conversation. May be some miracle cud happen to one of them berkat doa sakan kat jabal rahmah.
But Mohamad was not finished with me. Sempat hati tertanya - why the attention on me? syok ada jugak but its just pelek sungguh. Apalaa yang mamat ni pandang kat aku – muka hitam terbakar dek panas matahari – and I am fat (the fact that I am sweet – ah well – no comment :) He asked further "how old r u?". I replied "what do you think?". I cud clearly recall the grin on his face. Imagine the face of Drew Barrimore – with beard and hair, much slimmer. Kinda cute.
Dengan pelat arab dia “I donno”.
I asked “how old r u?”
He said “26”.
“Okay – I’m born 11 years before u”.
“Masyaallah – u look like 24”.
Memangle mamat ni kasi gua syok kejap. Sempat I jeling kat my mother who was also smiling “mana nak letak laki cek tu noo..” I said to my mom.
What I didn’t know then was that the conversation with Mohamad was also another sign.
