When i was driving towards parking at Al-Falah, i saw a familiar beamer approaching the parking from the opposite direction. It was just minutes before maghrib but since it was raining earlier, it was pretty dark that i could not ascertain the plate number. As the 2 cars appraoched each other - it's confirmed that the beamer belongs to my SrGM at work. Inside were him and wife. I waved at them as i passed to enter the muslimat's entrance.
Insyaallah.... one day, DH and I would come together.
While listening to the tazkirah, I spotted Sister R at the front row. I last met her in Makbul Restaurant while she was having dinner with her husband - so happened, the nite prior to their journey for Hajj.
Then, we exchanged warm hugs, commenting that we hardly see one another except at Terawikh. That's how i first met Sister R back in the year 2006. She started making conversations. I was not comfortable talking to strangers on personal matters, on top of that - talking in the masjid, when one should be concentrating on making doa, seeking solace, and get close to Him. However Sister R was very pleasant, sisterly and perhaps she's a God-sent, who could tell... Along the way I shared that i just had a divorce bla, bla, bla, bla. Could sensed her genuine concern and she was all so comforting and gave lots of encouraging words.
Thot i owe it to her for 'appearing' for me at the stage of my life. So i decided to share my latest development.. that i got married again. I could see her happiness in her eyes for me.
Sister R approached me as she was leaving the restaurant - 'It must be your rezeki. We are leaving for Hajj tomorrow. Do you have any special doa for me to extend for you?". I gave her a big hug, asked for her to send my salaam to Rasulullah SAW... and of course i requested her to make doa for Allah to open ways for me and DH to be together soon, etc., etc. My eyes followed Sister R walking side by side with her husband towards their car. Masyaallah, i was envious with the life she has.. at that age(late 50s), having a simple dinner with her beloved husband - due for a journey to Makkah - together. Ya Allah bless me too, please.
After the tazkirah, i approached Sister R, tapping her shoulder "Ya Hajjah, Ya Hajjah..". She turned, looked at me, her eyes beaming. We hugged each other. "I made doa for you sayang. I did. Of so many pesanan from people, your smiling face appeared when i was making doa. Yes i made doa for you, once in Jabbal Rahmah, another at the Arafah." I was speachless - sebak rasa. She continued "i made doa for you.. may Allah makbul." Syahdu..! I silently continued with my doa in this house of Allah.
After a while, i felt a hand holding my arms. I turned to see an aunt - whom i also gotto know during Terawikh sessions.
She's in her late 60s - I noticed this elderly aunt walking independently joining the saff, the iftaar and the like.. wishing Mak is as sihat and strong to enjoy the nikmat being in this house of Allah - with the rest of these beautiful people who are there seeking solace. I wonder where are her children.. Got the chance to share my thoughts with 'ibu' one nite(she insisted that i call her that), and our relationship began, with her bringing especially for me a jar of acar buah from Singapore, cooking some dishes ensuring i have my share at iftar.. Yes - there's so much love in the house of Allah.
We hugged each other and she asked about Mak. I commented that i was looking out for her the past few weeks, noticed that she has not been there for quite a while. Ibu related that she has been attending to her daughter whose Pilot-husband just passed away during the recent wukuf.
Innalillahi wainna ilaihirraji'un. I was lost for words again, very well knowing the split. On one end it's - Masyaallah! so beautiful - a definite jannah for him. On the other, it must be difficult for his wife and the three young kids. "He's only 50...tak sangka-sangka. Dia tak sakit apa-apa pun. Rasa macam daun kering gugur..". Ibu also related that 2 months ago the youngest 9 year old grandson woke up crying - as he had a dream that his dad passed away in Makkah. And Ibu, as i would if i were in her shoes, told her grandson then that kalau mimpi orang meninggal meaning orang tu kenyang..
Lahawlawalaquwwata - who could tell.
Ya Allah - Engkau Maha Berkuasa.
I extended my condolence to ibu's daughter, hope Allah gives her the strengths.
Lots of thots from tonite ....
2 pictures -
1) Kehidupan - just like i have always wished for
2) Kematian - could happen any time
Ya Rabb, Engkau menentukan segalanya.
Aku mohon Ya Allah, sekira baik untukku dan suamiku, berikan kami kesempatan untuk hidup bersama. Hanya Engkau yang mengetahui apa yang terbaik untuk kami.
Aku mohon Ya Allah, berkati kehidupanku, suamiku, kaum keluargaku, sahabat handai dan para ahli jemaah serta semua orang-orang yang aku sayangi... Ameen.
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Called and spoke to DH - related the 2 pictures, and a "i just call to say i love you."
