p i n t a s a n

sekian
lama
waktu
tersekang
bait
pilihan
hati

terpanggil
detik
ini
ku selak
ku pilih
kepingan
lukisan masa
membelek
perjalanan

masyaaallah
...
setiapnya
dengan izinMu

tak mampu
menghurai
tiada
penjelasan
untuk
kesinambungan
episod
perjalanan

seolah
pintasan
waktu

siapalah aku
tanpa izinMu

alhamdulillah

life in a perspective

Received email from Sister Iffath sharing on her answers to the interview by ProductiveMuslimah.com. Truly so inspiring...


1. How did you manage to be focused on your goal?
A. First and foremost I thank Allah Most High from the bottom of my heart for everything. Even though it seems like we did something or we are doing something it is only through Allah's grace that we are able to do the things that we do. Secondly the only way to achieve something is to have a goal and seek Allah's help and work towards achieving it until we get it. That seems to be the only reasonable approach to be focused. We need to have the firm belief that 'with Allah's help nothing is difficult, and without His help nothing is easy.'


2. What are the different ways that can be used to motivate our sisters to memorize the Qur'an?
A. First we need to fall in love with our Creator. This can be achieved through realizing all the blessings He has bestowed on us, the greatest of which is Imaan -- the key to Jannah. He didn't just create us, He also gave us a beautiful manual through which we are guided and we can lead a safe, secure, and peaceful life in this world of corruption and confusion. When Allah's love becomes intense, it will be expressed through our connection with His Book. We will never have enough of it. We will recite it with love and reverence for this best possible gift for mankind, then we will also learn to focus on understanding it, we will then inshaAllah live our lives in accordance with its teachings.


When we are constantly living with the Qur'an in our daily lives we have made a very strong connection with our Lord. We also know that this is the only book when we read one word of it there are ten hasanat for every letter, how is it then, that we will not want to recite it more and more, when this happens the next stage will follow -- we will have an urge to at least memorize some of it, that will inshaAllah lead us to memorizing all of it. We will do it because we want to and not because we have to.


My advice to those who want to memorize but feel that they don't have the time, is to get started even if it is just two lines a day and be consistent with it. Allah will give them the barakah and they will be amazed on how much they are able to achieve just through being consistent with whatever little they are able to memorize. The key is doing with sincerity and consistency. Being on wudu (the believer's weapon against Satan) all the time is a tremendous blessing -- through this we have a special connection with Allah Most High, and we are not an easy target for Satan; and also we are able to reach out for the Qur'an whenever we have any free time -- this will inshaAllah speed up the process of memorization.


3. How did you manage your time?
A. When we work towards a goal -- for believers the goal is seeking Allah's pleasure in every moment of our lives, when we are focused on achieving this goal, that is when everything falls into place, time management becomes easy, we are able to keep track of time, we will realize that there is no room for haraam (prohibited) and makruh (disliked) in our lives, there is only mubah (permissible) in our lives, through this we are also able to sort out important from unimportant, and that is the key to having the barakah (increase) in our time. We need to value our free time and make the most of it -- time is our life, when we waste time we waste our lives. Realization of the importance of time is very important -- we should always remember that this is one of the first things we will be asked about on the Day of Judgment.


4. What makes one a Productive Muslimah? (traits/ character)
A. A productive muslimah is one who takes pride in being a muslimah, she is focused on preaching Islam through her own practice. She loves Allah, her focus in life is Allah's pleasure, and she loves to do things that bring her closer to her Creator and Sustainer. Her main concern is her success in the Akhirah (Hereafter), thus she makes the most of this world as a means to achieve that success.


Her Imaan is reflected through her outward which is complete submission to Sharia (Divine law). She is honest, trustworthy, and hardworking. She is not seeking out her rights from others, but she is always focused on fulfilling the rights of others upon her. She lives a simple life taking care of her needs and not going after her wants. She has a heart free of love for this world, free of love of leadership, free of bad opinions about others, free of grudges, malice, rancor, greed, envy and all other evil traits. Her tongue is not engaged in haraam or vain talk, she thinks before she speaks, she controls her anger. She is a humble person, her goal is to be a better person every day of her life; she doesn't hesitate to admit when she is wrong and is quick in correcting her wrongs/faults when she sees them. She is neither stingy nor a spendthrift, but she loves to spend generously for those things which will bring her closer to her Creator.


Her heart is clean and pure, filled with love and reverence for her Creator; love, compassion, kindness, and forgiveness for the creation. She is full of gratitude for every single blessing, especially for the spiritual blessings, she is always striving to progress spiritually. She has complete trust and reliance in Allah, when she goes through difficult/disliked situation she knows there is good in it for her -- both in this world and the next. She loves to be in the company of Saliheen (righteous slaves of Allah). She strives to keep her promises and commitments. She is soft spoken but firm in her words and works. She always strives to be a part of solution and not a part of problem. She shows beautiful patience during difficult times, for she realizes things could have been worse, and that these are tests from Allah Who can be called upon and He will answer the duas, and she also has the certainty that 'with every difficulty there is relief' (94: 6). She is a living proof of what a muslimah should be, and all this with the utmost sincerity to please her Almighty Lord. 
5. Final words of advise to ProductiveMuslimah fans.
A. My advice to myself and to everyone is to rejoice in being a Muslim/Muslimah, that we be true Muslims in deeds not just in words -- as we know the literal meaning of Muslim is 'one who submits to Allah's will and His commands.' We shouldn't take things for granted, We should take everything with gratitude, for Allah promises us increase for the things that we show gratitude for. We also need to reflect upon the meaning of gratitude which is to use Allah's blessings (which include our time, health, sight, hearing, speech, all the latest technology and all other countless blessings) only for the things He is pleased with.


Our gratitude should be even more for the spiritual favors, the best way to show gratitude for them is to know that these are gifts from Allah Most High for which we have no words to express our thanks. We need to be focused on our goal which is our Akhirah, to achieve our goal we need to be in the company of those who have achieved this focus or are working for it -- as we know that the company one keeps has the greatest impact on a person's life.

teghertib lendit

Mak at work :)

i looove the color bit..
must admit that if i were to manage those hangers, don't think i would have thought for such arrangement...

p.s mak's words - "teghertib lendit"

Ramadhan - Syawal 1430

Daily Reflections - Results

the results for anything we do are either as we expected or better in which case we should be thankful to Allah, or they may worse than what we expect, in which case we should be patient and also be thankful to Allah.

whether it be exam results, work related, or even looking for a potential spouse. sometimes you get what you want, and sometimes you don't. but in both cases it is good for the believer,

The Messenger of Allah, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, “Amazing is the situation of the Mu’min (believer); his affairs are always good, and this is for no one but the Mu’min. If something good happens to him he is thankful, and that is good for him. And if hardship befalls him he is patient, and that, too, is good for him.” (Muslim)

the results and outcome that we get has already been decreed to happen 50000 years before creation.

“Allah had written the ordained measures (and due proportions) of the creation, fifty-thousand years before the creation of the Heavens and the Earth...” (Muslim)

so if you do get a bad result, remember that is what was decided by Allah in his infinite wisdom, and we do not know what benefit will come out of it and maybe in a few weeks months/years you will look back and see the blessings of the supposedly "bad" result.

“And it may be that you dislike a thing that is good for you...” (Qur'an 2:216)

and don't think that this small setback will change who you are, or what you will become, or who you will get married to, or how much you'll earn... because

“And whosoever puts his trust in Allaah, then He will suffice him” (Qur'an 65:3)

and

~Narrated Umar bin Al-kKhattab: I heard Allah's Messenger saying: "If you all relied on Allah with due reliance, he would certainly give you provision as he gives it to birds who issue forth hungry in the morning and return with full belly at dusk." (Tirmidhi)

so if you do get a bad result don't worry about it too much, there are more important things in life and be content with what Allah has given you, and you will be successful!

“Allah [Alone] is Sufficient for us, and He is the Best Disposer of affairs [for us]. So they returned with Grace and Bounty from Allah. No harm touched them; and they followed the good Pleasure of Allah. And Allah is the Owner of Great Bounty. (Qur'an 3:174)

O Allah give us all what's best for us, and accept our Dua's - Ameen

each time

it's hard each time you go...

Arrived home from the airport, sat in the car for a while - to gather strengths before going into the house and face the emptiness amongst the traces you left behind.


i dragged myself to pick every bits and traces of you -
the flip-flop
the sajadah
the gandoura
the perfume
the accumulatingly left-behind luggages
the mugs
the breakfast cereal
the toileteries
i need to register each of them, where there are - so that i would not come upon them unprepared - their rip-my-heart power is getting stronger - each time.


O how do i deal with the empty side of the bed tonite...
and how do i cope waking up, wishing that today's episode was yet another dream and that you're still nearby..


O God give me strength each time i sense that familiar scent.

Daily Reflections - A Journey

You’re on a journey. The journey is life. The destination is Paradise or Hell. The path you take on your journey will determine your destination. The length of your journey is not fixed; it will vary for each individual with some arriving at their destination in their youth whereas other will reach old age before they arrive. Yet one thing for certain is that everyone WILL arrive at their destination.

The Prophet (s.a.w) said ”What have I got to do with the material world. The example of the material world and I is that of a traveller. Travelling in the afternoon heat, he stopped to rest under the shade of a tree for some moments. Then, he rose and left it.”- (Ahmad, Tirmidhi. The hadith is Hasan.)

Ibn Umar narrates: one day I was with the Messenger of Allah (s.a.w.) He then turned to me, held my shoulders with both of his blessed hands, and said: “Be in this life like a stranger or a traveller.”

And whenever Ibn Umar narrated this to his disciples he would add: “If you reach the evening, do not await (to be alive) by dawn, And if you reach dawn, do not await (to be alive) by evening. Take advantage of your Health before you fall sick. And take advantage of your life, before you die” (Bukhari)

Every day that goes by, you get nearer to your destination. Some people have understood - spending every minute preparing with the best of provisions. However many are ignorant and heedless and take with them only that which will burden them.

Ali (r.a) once stood at the head of a grave and said to his companion, “If he had a chance to return to this life, what do you think he would do?” His companion replied, “He would do nothing but good deeds.” Ali (r.a) then said, “If it is not going to be him, then let it be you.”

Al Fudayl ibn Iyaadh (r.a) once sat with a senior and asked him,

How old are you?

The man replied, 60 years old.

Did you know, said Al Fudayl, that for 60 years you have been travelling towards your Lord, and that you have almost arrived. The man was reduced to silence.

He whispered, “Inna lillaahi wa Inna Ilayhi Raajioon” (To Allah we belong and to Him we return).

Al Fudayl asked, Do you know the meaning of that statement. You are saying that you are Allah’s slave and that to Him you are returning. Whoever knows that he is the slave of Allah, and that to Him he shall return, should know that he shall be stopped on the day of judgement. And whoever knows that he will be stopped, let him also know that he will be responsible for what he did in life. And whoever knows that he will be responsible for what he did, let him know that he will be questioned. And whoever knows that he will be questioned, let him prepare an answer now!

What then shall I do? asked the man.

It is simple, said Al Fudayl. Do good in what is left of your life, forgiven shall be your past. If not, you shall be taken to account for the past and what is to come.

Ibn Abbas (r.a) heard the Prophet (s.a.w) advising someone saying, “Take advantage of five before five: Your youth before your old age, your health before your sickness, your wealth before your poverty, your free time before you become occupied, and your life before your death.”

What will our destination be? Let us prepare while we are on the journey before we arrive and there is no turning back.

quote

* reflect on the work of art and you may attain to the artist

* 'Trust' contains an ocean of meaning, but underneath it all is the sense of responsibility, the sense of having to appear before Him and to account for one's actions.

Tips for Living

1. Stay out of trouble.


















2. Aim for greater heights.














3. Stay focused on your job.
















4. Exercise to maintain good health.


















5. Practice team work.













6. Rely on your trusted partner to watch your back. Take your time trusting others.










7. Save for rainy days.













8. Rest and relax.












9. Always take time to smile..

AND












10. Realize that nothing is impossible.

Mother's Day

It's Mother's Day tomorrow, and i am travelling up north - with Mak, taking her to her sanctuary...
Am taking monday and tuesday off to extend the stay @ kampung. 12th May - Mak's 64th birthday, and i am set to be all yours - at your service, Mak.

Ya Allah, berikanlah ketenangan dan keafiatan buat Mak.

Happy Mother's Day and Happy Birthday, Mak!
Love you.

Doa Selepas Wirid Ma'thurat

Ya Allah,
kurniakanlah kami
lisan yang lembut basah mengingati dan menyebut namaMu
hati yang penuh segar mensyukuri (nikmat)Mu
serta badan yang ringan menyempurnakan kataatan kepada (perintah)Mu
Ya Allah,
kurniakanlah kami
iman yang sempurna
hati yang kyusuk
ilmu yang berguna
keyakinan yang benar-benar mantap
kurniakanlah kami (Ya Allah)
cara hidup (din) yang jitu dan unggul
selamat dari segala mara bahaya dan petaka
kami mohon (Ya Allah)
kecukupan yang tidak sampai kami terpaksa meminta jasa orang lain
berikanlah kami (Ya Allah)
iman yang yang sebenarnya
sehingga kami tidak lagi gentar
atau mengharap orang lain selain dari Engkau sendiri
kembangkanlah lembayung rahmatMu
kepada kami
keluarga dan anak-anak kami
serta sesiapa sahaja yang bersama-sama kami
Janganlah (Ya Allah)
Engkau biarkan nasib kami ditentukan oleh diri kami sendiri
Walaupun kadar sekelip mata
atau kadar masa yang lebih mudah dan cepat
memperkenankan pinta (perkenankanlah)
Selawat dan restu Allah untuk junjungan kami Muhammad (SAW)
Nabi yang mulia
kepada keluarga Baginda dan para sahabat Baginda amnya.

thoughts

5 simple rules to be happy
Free your heart from hatred
Free your minds from worries
Live simply
Give more
Expect less

No one can go back and make a brand new start
Anyone can start from now and make a brand new ending

God didn’t promise days without pain
Laughter without sorrow
Sun without rain
But he did promise
strength for the day
comfort for the tears
and light for the way

Disappointments are like road humps
They slow you down a bit
But you enjoy the smooth road afterwards
Don’t stay on the humps too long
Move on

When you feel down because you didn’t get what you want
Just sit tight and be happy
Because God is thinking of something better to give you

When something happens to you
good or bad
consider what it means
There’s a purpose to life’s event
To teach you how to laugh more
Or not to cry too hard

You can’t make someone love you
All you can do is be someone who can be loved
The rest is up to the person to realize your worth

The measure of love is when you love without measure

In life there are very rare chances that you’ll meet the person you love
And loves you in return
So once you have it don’t ever let go
The chance might never come your way again

It’s better to lose your pride to the one you love
Than to lose the one you love because of pride

We spend too much time
Looking for the right person to love
Or finding fault with those we already love
When instead we should be perfecting the love we give

When you truly care for someone
You don’t look for faults
You don’t look for answers
You don’t look for mistakes
Instead, you fight the mistakes
You accept the faults
And you overlook the excuses

Translation : A Marriage / A Union

Aiyuha Zawjee (husband), ponder this

A marriage or a union
Reveals a veiled secret
For the wife you married
Is not as noble as Khadijah
Nor is she as muttaqeen as Aisyah
Nor is she as persevering as Fatimah

In fact
Your wife is only a woman who at the end of her lifetime
Has ambition to be solehah

A marriage or a union
Teaches us our mutual obligations
A wife is the mother earth, you are the protecting sky
A wife is the planted fields, you are the fence
If the wife is deemed as the tamed animals, you are the shepherd
A wife is the student, you are the mursyidun
A wife is like a child, you are her source of pampering
In the moment, a wife is the honey, you drink to your heart's desire
In the moment, a wife is the poison, you are her antidote

If a wife is a curved bone
Be extra gently when straightening her

A marriage or a union
It brings us a humbling realisation
The need for iman and taqwa
To teeter the bridge of patience and Allah's acceptance

For having a wife who is not as perfect
Will inevitably jolt you from your ponderings
You are not Rasullullah saw
Nor are you Sayyidina Ali Karamallahhuwajhah
You are only a man who at the end of his lifetime
is striving to be a solihin
Amin..

Aiyuha Zawjatee (wife), ponder this

A marriage or a union
Reveals a veiled secret
That the husband who marries you
Is not as noble as Muhammad saw
Nor is he as muttaqin as Ibrahim
Nor is he as persevering as Ayyub
Nor is he as strong as Musa
Nor as dashing as Yusuf

In fact,
Your husband is only a man who at the end of his lifetime
Has ambition to leave behind
Descendents of soliheen
A marriage or a union
Teaches us shared responsibilities
A husband as the covering, you are the content
A husband as the ship captain, you are the navigator
A husband is like a cheeky actor,
you are his captivated audience
In the moment, your husband is a king
You relish the grapes of his paradise
In the moment, your husband becomes the venom, you are the antidote
If a husband turns snappish and hurtful,
have patience to remind him

A marriage or a union
It brings us a humbling realisation
The need for iman and taqwa
To teeter the bridge of patience and Allah's acceptance
Of Allah swt
For having a husband not as courageous
Will Inevitably jolt you from your ponderings
You are not Khadijah
who is perfect in caring for him
Nor are you Hajar who is so devoted despite her suffering
You are after all, only a woman at the end of her lifetime
Striving to be a solihah
Amin..

So, aiyuha Zawjee and Zawjatee
Do not expect too high
When you are obviously not as able

Zawjee and Zawjatee remember:
“Why long for a wife as great as Khadijah
when you yourself are not as noble as Rasullullah s.a.w
No need for a wife as beautiful as Balqis
when you yourself are not as great as Sulaiman
Why hope for a husband as dashing as Yusuf
When your love is not as pure as Zulaikha's
No need to look for a husband as capable as Ibrahim
When you are not as able as Hajar and Sarah...”

Pernikahan atau perkahwinan

A friend forwarded this piece which i find so very beautiful and deep. Not that they are something new or that i am oblivious of them, but i appreciate the piece.


Wahai SUAMI.... renungkanlah

Pernikahan atau perkahwinan
menyingkap tabir rahsia
Isteri yang kamu nikahi
tidaklah semulia Khadijah
Tidaklah setaqwa Aisyah
Tidaklah setabah Fatimah

Justeru,
Isterimu hanyalah wanita akhir zaman
yang punya cita-cita menjadi solehah..

Pernikahan atau perkahwinan
mengajar kita kewajiban bersama
Isteri menjadi tanah, kamu langit penaungnya
Isteri ladang tanaman, kamu pemagarnya
Isteri kiasan ternakan, kamu gembalanya
Isteri adalah murid, kamu mursyidnya
Isteri bagaikan anak kecil, kamu tempat bermanjanya
Saat is teri menjadi madu, kamu teguklah sepuasnya
Setika isteri menjadi racun, kamulah penawar bisanya

Seandai isteri tulang yang bengkok,
berhatilah meluruskannya...

Pernikahan atau perkahwinan
menginsafkan kita,
perlunya iman dan taqwa
Untuk belajar meniti sabar dan redho
ALLAH s.w.t kerana
Memiliki isteri yang tak sehebat mana
Justeru Kamu akan tersentak dari alpa
Kamu bukanlah Rasulullah s.a.w
Pun bukanlah Sayyidina Ali Karamallahhuwajhah
Cuma Suami akhir zaman
yang berusaha menjadi SOLEH....
Amin....

Wahai ISTERI pula...renungkanlah

Pernikahan atau perkahwinan
membuka tabir rahsia
Suami yang menikahi kamu
tidaklah semulia Muhammad s.a.w.
Tidaklah setaqwa Ibrahim
Tidak setabah Ayyub
Tidak segagah Musa
Apalagi setampan Yusuf

Justeru
Suamimu hanyalah lelaki akhir zaman
yang punya cita-cita membangun
keturunan yang soleh...
Pernikahan atau perkahwinan
mengajar kita kewajiban bersama
Suami menjadi pelindung, kamu penghuninya
Suami nakhoda kapal, kamu pengemudinya
Suami bagaikan pelakon yang nakal,
kamu adalah penonton kenakalannya
Saat suami menjadi raja
kamu nikmati anggur singgahsananya
Seketika suami menjadi bisa, kamulah penawar ubatnya
Seandainya suami bengis lagi lancang,
sabarlah memperingatkannya...

Pernikahan ataupun perkahwinan
mengajarkan kita
perlunya iman dan taqwa
Untuk belajar meniti sabar dan redho
ALLAH s.w.t. kerana
Memilik suami yang tak segagah mana..
Justeru Kamu akan tersentak dari alpa
Kamu bukanlah Khadijah
yang begitu sempurna di dalam menjaga
Bukanlah Hajar yang begitu setia dalam sengsara

Cuma wanita akhir zaman
yang berusaha menjadi SOLEHAH
Amin...


Justeru itu wahai SUAMI dan ISTERI
Jangan menuntut terlalu tinggi
Seandainya diri sendiri jelas tidak berupaya

SUAMI dan ISTERI ingatlah:
"Mengapa mendambakan isteri sehebat Khadijah
Andai diri tidak semulia Rasulullah s.a.w.
Tidak perlu isteri secantik Balqis
Andai diri tidak sehebat Sulaiman
Mengapa mengharapkan suami setampan Yusuf
Seandai kasih tak setulus Zulaikha
Tidak perlu mencari suami seteguh Ibrahim
Andai diri tidak sekuat Hajar dan Sarah...."

l o v e

disposable

it's been a while since i last went for my slimming sanctuary session. my beautician phoebe greeted me with 5-6 other ladies at the reception, everyone grinning. phoebe approached and held my arms. said "kak n - you dah lain... sangat lain, sangat kurus...!". Kembang gue tak terbicara. such line are becoming quite familiar these days (amboi! belagaknya - hopefully i wont be clouded and lupa akan zaman selambak dulu). Phoebe took me to the room. Sepersalinan menanti for me to change. Only that, this time the disposeable undies is in the form of a disposable g-string! akak gelak besar hehehehehe.... what you see is not what you get... i've got a long way to go!

a trip 'home'

was in S@M yesterday, for a business visit. Did not expect what's awaiting for me tho. I met the lot i used to work with for almost - 5 years. The last time i was there was the day i moved out - end July 2007. Approaching the office, i realized the growing pang of 'sadness', yet meeting everyone made me feel like i was returning 'home'.

lots of huggings and kisses with those on the floor. i dropped in the bosses rooms, said hello and update news on the happening around my 'new' job and the 'new' me.
it was nice to be received welcomingly.

the girls in particular came hugging and astonished with my new look, the slimmer me, alhamdulillah. it makes me feel so good and i am all too willing to share my regime, encouraging them that if i could do it - so could they. i must thank my personal trainer for the push (today taking her for lunch @ ayam penyek :)).

so much to catch up, so little time.. yet in the shortest of time sempat jugak the 'makciks' asked me some personal questions, the kind i have been living without for the last year or so.

when i was driving back to my office in kd, i was overwhelmed with today's experience (minus the intruding questions from the so-call makciks) - wanting to reach out for more from those lot. i dialed a few numbers to thank them and hope to see them again soon.

then i found myself calling KL who is the wife to one of the bigshot of SCP.
KL after registering that it was me (i'm with my current mobile number having discarded the one she kept) 'you calling nak jemput kenduri kawin ka?' i struggled to excuse my case and the fact that it was a small wedding at a masjid. She shot -'why? you think i dont enter masjid?'.. kena lagi!

then i shared with her my experience today - that i am identifying the sadness returning to SCP - because, i was returning to the place i had to leave kerana merajuk (duhh!). i was taken for granted for rounds of episodes and empty promises. some gave hopes and therefore i was hanging on to those. While i continued giving it all on my part, these people went home at the end of the day, good nite sleep tight and life goes on. The recognition wasn't balance. Merajuk? (oh dear!) but in the corporate world, and in life for that matter, one could merajuk big time and when you're not dealing with the right kind of people - it becomes - who cares - sapa nak pujuk? Noone is indispensable.



In my SCP case, KL's hubby requested for me to stay on - timely for him to chart his plans, but i was at the edge of falling and breaking - and with the opportunity i found - i left anyway - merajuk matched and terpujuk with the better opportunity. For over a year now, i worked at more than double the salary, at half the workload. That's pretty big bonus, alhamdulillah. He works mysteriously - putting one to a test and it's kunfayakun.

Continuing with my sharing with KL, telling her why i was not in touch for so long. I chose to keep myself away from those who knew too much - most people do that in recuperating. Not that it matters what others think and say, and neither am i putting them at fault. but i was at such a stage that i could be better off without the additional problem others could be creating for me. thank you.

At the end of the day - and for the sekian kalinya, one only needs Allah. People - friends and families - are some form of bonuses. YOU are in incharge of your own destiny / life, answerable only to Him... YOU make the choice - nak make a situation good or bad, recognize the hikmah disebalik sesuatu kejadian. it's never about merajuk sapa nak pujuk really ;) While whining and ranting every now and then - well i'm born pompuan!

Guide me Ya Allah.

i wish

came home after the airport session
it felt so much emptier
and that pang of hollow
that's getting all too familar
each time you go ..

picked and safe-placed
all belongings
just need to eliminate
all spots, bumps and traces
that would add to the bleeding
of this wounded heart

am not looking forward
to waking up
in the midst of the nite
searching,
wondering
and coming to terms
with this stretching distance
all over again

life goes on
o yes - i will be okay
just that
- i wish ...

insignificant

i cud be better
without that insignificant feeling
suddenly the excitement dies down
and i wish
time went slower

wonder no more

i used to wonder
why and why not
why is life so easy, breezy and glorifying for some
and so hard, sticky and demeaning for others

I used to get so upset and confused
when i’ve done all the right stuff
and worked my butt for my noble aim
and the result
- is an absolute miss

i used to wonder
how one could tolerate certain unbecoming situation
and not move on for a better option

i used to wonder,
what's life like with those at their 30, when i was 20
how is it like being 40, when i was 30,

as i turned 40,
i suppose i have a fair deal of life myself
to have that faith
that everything happens for a reason
as long as they are not against the prohibition of our deen,
one simply must have the faith
and put the best effort
for each nawaitu lillahita'ala

one gets her reward/share
for the faith
and for each of those effort
the end result - is of His dept,
if achieved is a bonus,
if it’s not, it’s not meant to be
– there’s something else in line for you..

Insyaallah.