traces

Was at the airport.
God knows it's so difficult to let go..

Of course, i would survive. Life goes on.
Just that it's back to square one - me facing the vacuum, missing you, making plans, counting days - till we meet again.

Planned for so many things, but we deviated. Need to loose the extras. Me for you and you for me and the gym sessions made us both happy.

Lots of discoveries - on you, on me, on the reunion.

food's not critical - no need to impress with attempts to cook
fruits and lots of fruits
capati and dall
Football is part of life
priorities and all the other priorities
parents' love
independence
appearing strong
everyone in my family loves you
solat witir
the hair
the dentist
the tea
the hazelnut coffee
chow kit, cow shit and china town wishes
transporter
b-8-4
ironing requires skill
cooking requires observation
you can't change a man (not that it's intended)
it sucks being vulnerable
perception vs what's real
lesser expressions do not equal lesser emotions
ongoing tests
some things need to be discounted, some need to be marked-up
you need to love yourself before others could love you

Oh yes - God knows it's difficult.

In anticipation of the evening's confrontation with the sudden vacuum - after solat fajar, folded your sejadah, and carefully kept it in the wardrobe. Dont think i could bear seeing it and your sarong, hang with mine. Missing my imaam.

Was nervous coming home from work. Found myself tracing you. A pair of your slippers at the entrance, others you had thoughtfully placed in the shoe cabinet. Sighed. Had them rearranged - your shoes and snickers all in one cabinet. The pair of slippers joined them.

Entered the house. A pair of socks left by the door for washing. Delicate.

In the kitchen - saw you washing the cereal bowl from breakfast. Our tea mugs left to dry. Will have them placed in the cabinet later... awaiting for our next breakfast together.
The tea bagsssssssssss.

Your saccarine, the jar of your favourite cereal on the dining table.

The luggages, the iron, the un-ironed shirts, your bottle of perfume, the give-aways from the conferences in the end-room. The true fitness bag.

oh we forgot - the sewing machine and the hose in the other shower :(

The perfume joined the rest of mine in our bedroom, the luggages shall be in your wardrobe.
The toothbrush, the toiletries, the sponge in our shower.
The towel, the sarong. To wash separate and delicate.

God knows it's difficult.

And of course i would survive. Life has to go on. But being together is much better.

Am missing you, would be making plans, counting days - till we meet again.

Gently cuddled each pillow - they smell so you.