"Guidance of the Day:
Making it Happen: Stop trying so hard to make it happen. Stop doing so much, if doing so much is wearing you out or not achieving the desired results. Stop thinking so much and so hard about it. Stop worrying so about it. Stop trying to force, to manipulate, to coerce, or to make it happen. Making things happen is controlling. We can take positive action to help things happen. We can do our part. But many of us do much more than our part. Controlling is self-defeating. It doesn't work. By over-extending ourselves to make something happen, we may actually be stopping it from happening.
Do your part in relaxed, peaceful harmony. Then let it go. Just let it go. Force yourself to let it go, if necessary. Put as much energy into letting go as you have into trying to control. You will get much better results. It may not happen. It may not happen the way we wanted it to and hoped it would. But our controlling wouldn't have made it happen either. Learn to let things happen because that's what they'll do anyway. And while we are waiting to see what happens, we'll be happier and so will those around us. [The Language of Letting Go]
Food for Thought:
Watch, wait. Time will unfold and reveal its purpose. Patience cannot be forced. It is a gift, one that closely follows acceptance and gratitude. "
Thank you, God.
Sunday, August 06, 2006
Sunday, July 30, 2006
H O M E
I am in the midst of my journey
Ya Allah
Bless me with Your guidance
for me to be
and remain
on the right path
I am indeed on my way
and only wish to arrive home
peacefully
beautifully
to face You.
Amin.
Ya Allah
Bless me with Your guidance
for me to be
and remain
on the right path
I am indeed on my way
and only wish to arrive home
peacefully
beautifully
to face You.
Amin.
Friday, July 14, 2006
The Rose
Some say love it is a river
That drowns the tender reed.
Some say love it is a razor
That leaves your soul to bleed.
Some say love it is a hunger
An endless, aching need
I say love it is a flower,
And you it's only seed.
It's the heart afraid of breaking
That never learns to dance
It's the dream afraid of waking
That never takes the chance
It's the one who won't be taken,
Who cannot seem to give
And the soul afraid of dying
That never learns to live.
And the night has been too lonely
And the road has been too long.
And you think that love is only
For the lucky and the strong.
Just remember in the winter
Far beneath the bitter snow
Lies the seed that with the sun's love,
In the spring, becomes a rose.
That drowns the tender reed.
Some say love it is a razor
That leaves your soul to bleed.
Some say love it is a hunger
An endless, aching need
I say love it is a flower,
And you it's only seed.
It's the heart afraid of breaking
That never learns to dance
It's the dream afraid of waking
That never takes the chance
It's the one who won't be taken,
Who cannot seem to give
And the soul afraid of dying
That never learns to live.
And the night has been too lonely
And the road has been too long.
And you think that love is only
For the lucky and the strong.
Just remember in the winter
Far beneath the bitter snow
Lies the seed that with the sun's love,
In the spring, becomes a rose.
Wednesday, July 05, 2006
Die a little
Everytime we say goodbye, I die a little,
Everytime we say goodbye, I wonder why a little,
Why the Gods above me, who must be in the know.
Think so little of me, they allow you to go.
When you're near, there's such an air of spring about it,
I can hear a lark somewhere, begin to sing about it,
There's no love song finer, but how strange the change from major to minor,
Everytime we say goodbye.
When you're near, there's such an air of spring about it,
I can hear a lark somewhere, begin to sing about it,
There's no love song finer, but how strange the change from major to minor,
Everytime we say goodbye.
By Cole Porter
God IS in the know
He allows him to go ...
and each time, i die a little
Everytime we say goodbye, I wonder why a little,
Why the Gods above me, who must be in the know.
Think so little of me, they allow you to go.
When you're near, there's such an air of spring about it,
I can hear a lark somewhere, begin to sing about it,
There's no love song finer, but how strange the change from major to minor,
Everytime we say goodbye.
When you're near, there's such an air of spring about it,
I can hear a lark somewhere, begin to sing about it,
There's no love song finer, but how strange the change from major to minor,
Everytime we say goodbye.
By Cole Porter
God IS in the know
He allows him to go ...
and each time, i die a little
Saturday, July 01, 2006
Pujuk
Redhalah..setiap kekosongan
setiap kesakitan
setiap kepedihan
setiap titisan airmata
Semoga terampun dosa.
Subhanaka laa'ilmalanaa
illaamaa 'allam tanaa
innaka antal 'aleemulhakeem
Friday, June 23, 2006
wakey-wakey
are you still there, or have you stepped out
and walked away?
how far have you gone?
while i remain
with my day dreaming
at the very spot
waiting..
how much longer would it be
before i get the wakeup call?
a thot
everything is so not right.
everything is getting into me.
and these guys in the meeting (except for those bald ones) why can't they trim their hair and moustache neatly!
everything is getting into me.
and these guys in the meeting (except for those bald ones) why can't they trim their hair and moustache neatly!
Saturday, June 17, 2006
l o s s
Have you ever woke up
in the midst of the night
feeling the pang of hollow
and emptiness
in your chest
as though something
is snatched out of you
you hear your heart crying
and you feel your soul yearning
and reaching out for something
so out of touch
it's simply something beyond..
This pain
is getting all too familiar
it comes with the loss of life precious
i first felt it when my grandma passed away
i felt it again when my dad left us
i felt it when my 11 years of marriage plunges
And this pain
it's revisiting
it's coming once too often
it's hurting so bad
it's really so bad
Yes - faith and patience
space, devine decree
and destiny
this is part of it
and it's simply something beyond me
Ya Allah,
If this is Your punishment to the sins i've committed, please forgive me
If this is a test to my faith, please increase my level of iman
If this is a test to my love, please give me strengths to endure this pain
Ya Allah,
I know you've heard me
And only You know what's best
I need your guidance..
Ya Rahman
Ya Rahim
Ya Rabbul'alamin.
in the midst of the night
feeling the pang of hollow
and emptiness
in your chest
as though something
is snatched out of you
you hear your heart crying
and you feel your soul yearning
and reaching out for something
so out of touch
it's simply something beyond..
This pain
is getting all too familiar
it comes with the loss of life precious
i first felt it when my grandma passed away
i felt it again when my dad left us
i felt it when my 11 years of marriage plunges
And this pain
it's revisiting
it's coming once too often
it's hurting so bad
it's really so bad
Yes - faith and patience
space, devine decree
and destiny
this is part of it
and it's simply something beyond me
Ya Allah,
If this is Your punishment to the sins i've committed, please forgive me
If this is a test to my faith, please increase my level of iman
If this is a test to my love, please give me strengths to endure this pain
Ya Allah,
I know you've heard me
And only You know what's best
I need your guidance..
Ya Rahman
Ya Rahim
Ya Rabbul'alamin.
Father's Day
It's Father's Day today and I miss Abah.
I wished I have told him often enough that I love him.
I wished I had been there for him often more - for him to know that he means so much to me.
Ya Allah, bless the soul of my beloved Abah.
Al Fatihah.
I wished I have told him often enough that I love him.
I wished I had been there for him often more - for him to know that he means so much to me.
Ya Allah, bless the soul of my beloved Abah.
Al Fatihah.
d e s t i n y
Apart from those at work, and a handful of friends from varsity days and colleague from my previous postings whose friendship with i maintain via email, i do not get to see many friends and I am okay with it.
Last week however, I attended an alumni gathering. There were mainly my seniors and a few of those of my badge. Some of whom i have not met at all since they were in different varsity, and some of those from the same school, i have not met for the last 17 years! It's interesting to witness how each one (that i knew) has practically moved with age. Alhamdulillah, despite the diversity in achievements, lifestyle and what each one is pursuing, you could still sense the bond which is somewhat still there. Then again, perhaps being in the yahoo-alumni group could have done the bit.
In another occasion, due to a required arrangement for my son, I met AM, who is in her early 40s. It has been a while since we last met and chatted. Initially I was very excited to learn that she's started her own advertising/event manager and the related company, while also co-managing a legal firm with her new partner. It's obvious that AM has put lots of investing, time and money wise for her new venture. AM related that her kids are beginning to complain seeing less and less of her and she admitted feeling guilty about her son's declining results at school.
Then she went on some other ventures she's helping friends with - including some big funding for a deep-sea fishing stuff - and the topics related got even 'heavier'. Despite it all - she sounded all so excited and elated, asking me if i'd like to join her for some karaoke sessions they'd normally have after work. It was 2130 hours and AM had to rush back to the office for some work matters, quote-unquote.
While i listened to her talking, my head wondered off identifying the differences of passion in different individual life.
Later when i was on my own - I began pondering - "where's my drive?", "what really is my passion?". Could one claim his/her passion better than the other? Then perhaps with satan's whisper "have i actually lost my grip?"
I am not exactly happy with what i am doing at work. Actually work sucks - people take you for granted - expecting the world from you while they pay you peanuts. But i've been doing what i am doing for the past 4 years. I know my strength in the area and coupled with one thousand and one other reasons, I choose to MINIMIZE change in my life at this point of time, with God's willing i.e.
It's pathetic to go back and relate to being divorced less than a year ago, and it's not right to blame the failure of my marriage for where I am now. What's important is that I choose to stay where I am - making the most of that little peanut that I am getting at the end of every month, to pay for the house, the car etc., etc. and survive.
Q1. Why was it that I was sincere when I told AM that I envy her?
A1. Simply because at one point of time, with the drive and passion I had then, I used to dream of becoming my own boss as well.
Q2. Do I want to be in her shoes?
A2. No - i'm inclined for other passions now.
Q3. Why the uncomfortable feeling and worse - the thought that if i had the choice, i'd rather not spend time her?
A3. ... bird of the same feather flocks together. i am just not in her league and i won't pretend to be.
Q4. Am I a bird?
A4. No. very much a human.
It was nothing detrimental, but it's not a simple matter either. To put it shortly, I am glad I had the opportunity to identify the differences and more importantly so, that I am feeling settled with my choices.
Alhamdulillah. I thank God I have come to this stage of consciousness.
Next i have this question. With the differences in passion for life with each individual, what's the chances that one is likely to bump into someone who almost has all the similarities and passions? If it is possible, could it be that the someone appears to have scored so well with you because you psycho yourself into it? What about infatuation? What's with disillusion?
I am still searching for the answer. I'd very much like to think that yes - it's likely for one to meet someone with almost all the similarities. It's something on destiny - by God's devine decree.
It's a long journey in life. Only He knows what awaits us next.
Last week however, I attended an alumni gathering. There were mainly my seniors and a few of those of my badge. Some of whom i have not met at all since they were in different varsity, and some of those from the same school, i have not met for the last 17 years! It's interesting to witness how each one (that i knew) has practically moved with age. Alhamdulillah, despite the diversity in achievements, lifestyle and what each one is pursuing, you could still sense the bond which is somewhat still there. Then again, perhaps being in the yahoo-alumni group could have done the bit.
In another occasion, due to a required arrangement for my son, I met AM, who is in her early 40s. It has been a while since we last met and chatted. Initially I was very excited to learn that she's started her own advertising/event manager and the related company, while also co-managing a legal firm with her new partner. It's obvious that AM has put lots of investing, time and money wise for her new venture. AM related that her kids are beginning to complain seeing less and less of her and she admitted feeling guilty about her son's declining results at school.
Then she went on some other ventures she's helping friends with - including some big funding for a deep-sea fishing stuff - and the topics related got even 'heavier'. Despite it all - she sounded all so excited and elated, asking me if i'd like to join her for some karaoke sessions they'd normally have after work. It was 2130 hours and AM had to rush back to the office for some work matters, quote-unquote.
While i listened to her talking, my head wondered off identifying the differences of passion in different individual life.
Later when i was on my own - I began pondering - "where's my drive?", "what really is my passion?". Could one claim his/her passion better than the other? Then perhaps with satan's whisper "have i actually lost my grip?"
I am not exactly happy with what i am doing at work. Actually work sucks - people take you for granted - expecting the world from you while they pay you peanuts. But i've been doing what i am doing for the past 4 years. I know my strength in the area and coupled with one thousand and one other reasons, I choose to MINIMIZE change in my life at this point of time, with God's willing i.e.
It's pathetic to go back and relate to being divorced less than a year ago, and it's not right to blame the failure of my marriage for where I am now. What's important is that I choose to stay where I am - making the most of that little peanut that I am getting at the end of every month, to pay for the house, the car etc., etc. and survive.
Q1. Why was it that I was sincere when I told AM that I envy her?
A1. Simply because at one point of time, with the drive and passion I had then, I used to dream of becoming my own boss as well.
Q2. Do I want to be in her shoes?
A2. No - i'm inclined for other passions now.
Q3. Why the uncomfortable feeling and worse - the thought that if i had the choice, i'd rather not spend time her?
A3. ... bird of the same feather flocks together. i am just not in her league and i won't pretend to be.
Q4. Am I a bird?
A4. No. very much a human.
It was nothing detrimental, but it's not a simple matter either. To put it shortly, I am glad I had the opportunity to identify the differences and more importantly so, that I am feeling settled with my choices.
Alhamdulillah. I thank God I have come to this stage of consciousness.
Next i have this question. With the differences in passion for life with each individual, what's the chances that one is likely to bump into someone who almost has all the similarities and passions? If it is possible, could it be that the someone appears to have scored so well with you because you psycho yourself into it? What about infatuation? What's with disillusion?
I am still searching for the answer. I'd very much like to think that yes - it's likely for one to meet someone with almost all the similarities. It's something on destiny - by God's devine decree.
It's a long journey in life. Only He knows what awaits us next.
Monday, May 15, 2006
My Pillar
Beloved Mak turned 61 on 12th May 2006.
Happy Birthday, Mak and Happy Mother's Day, too.
You're my pillar. I love you.
Tuesday, May 09, 2006
p a i n
this pain
is hurting
with each breath i take
each tear drop
spells
clearly
where this pain comes from
hence my regrets
i am learning
from this pain
which i am getting
to know well
this pain
which is hurting
wish i could rid
but isn't pain
meant
to clean one's sins
i hope i'll remember
this pain well
this pain
from which i should be learning
i ask you O God
to forgive me
and i ask you O God
to mercy me
i ask you O God
to grant me sustenance
to endure
this pain
is hurting
with each breath i take
each tear drop
spells
clearly
where this pain comes from
hence my regrets
i am learning
from this pain
which i am getting
to know well
this pain
which is hurting
wish i could rid
but isn't pain
meant
to clean one's sins
i hope i'll remember
this pain well
this pain
from which i should be learning
i ask you O God
to forgive me
and i ask you O God
to mercy me
i ask you O God
to grant me sustenance
to endure
this pain
Wednesday, April 26, 2006
Wednesday, April 12, 2006
c o n t r o l
i t's u n f a i r t o l e t y o u r l i f e b e s u b j e c t e d t o t h e a c t i o n s o f a n o t h e r.
desperately need to be in control
of my life
again
need to prioritise
the significance
o God - please make it easy.
desperately need to be in control
of my life
again
need to prioritise
the significance
o God - please make it easy.
Friday, April 07, 2006
K e j a u h a n
bermula detik
terhela nafas ...
dek kejauhan
dengan rindu yang melemaskan
datang dan pergi
ke mana hala penantian
terkadang tersasar
tenggelam dek kegusaran
apa prioriti perjalanan ini
terhela nafas ...
kejauhan
membawa sepi
dan berganti teman
antara rindu
dan kegusaran
Tuhan
Engkau Maha Mengetahui
Berikan petunjukMu.
terhela nafas ...
dek kejauhan
dengan rindu yang melemaskan
datang dan pergi
ke mana hala penantian
terkadang tersasar
tenggelam dek kegusaran
apa prioriti perjalanan ini
terhela nafas ...
kejauhan
membawa sepi
dan berganti teman
antara rindu
dan kegusaran
Tuhan
Engkau Maha Mengetahui
Berikan petunjukMu.
kejauhan
bermula detik
terhela nafas ...
dek kejauhan
dengan rindu yang melemaskan
datang dan pergi
ke mana hala penantian
terkadang tersasar
tenggelam dek kegusaran
apa prioriti perjalanan ini
terhela nafas ...
kejauhan
membawa sepi
dan berganti teman
antara rindu
dan kegusaran
Tuhan
Engkau Maha Mengetahui
Berikan petunjukMu.
terhela nafas ...
dek kejauhan
dengan rindu yang melemaskan
datang dan pergi
ke mana hala penantian
terkadang tersasar
tenggelam dek kegusaran
apa prioriti perjalanan ini
terhela nafas ...
kejauhan
membawa sepi
dan berganti teman
antara rindu
dan kegusaran
Tuhan
Engkau Maha Mengetahui
Berikan petunjukMu.
Monday, March 27, 2006
Wednesday, March 22, 2006
Du'a
O Allah, by Your knowledge of the unseen and Your power over creation, keep me alive so long as You know as such life to be good for me and
take me if You know death be better for me.
O Allah, make me fearful of You whether in secret, or in public and I ask You to make me true in speech, in times of pleasure and anger.
I ask You to make me moderate in times of wealth and poverty and I ask You for everlasting bliss and joy which will never cease.
I ask You to make me pleased with what You have decreed and for an easy life after death.
I ask You for the sweetness of looking upon Your Face and a longing to encounter You in a manner which does not entail a calamity which will bring about harm nor a trial which will cause deviation.
O Allah, beautify us with the adornment of faith and make us of those who guide and are rightly guided.
O Allah, forgive me, have mercy upon me, guide me, give me health and grant me sustenance.
O Allah, I ask You for pardon and well-being in this life and the next.
O Allah, I ask You for pardon and well-being in my religious and worldly affairs, and my family and my wealth.
O Allah, veil my weaknesses and set at ease my dismay.
O Allah, preserve me from the front and from behind and on my right and on my left and from above, and I take refuge with You lest I be swallowed up by the earth.
A'ameen ya Rabb Al-Aa'lameen
I bear witness that None has the right to be worshipped except Allah and I bear witness that Muhammad is His Slave and Messenger
The above Du'as have been taken from the book:
Hisn-u-Muslim {Fortification of the Muslim through rememberance and supplication from the Qur'aan and the Sunnah}
By: Sa'eed Ibn 'Ali Ibn Wahf Al-Qahtaani
Dar Al-Khair Publications, Jeddah KSA
take me if You know death be better for me.
O Allah, make me fearful of You whether in secret, or in public and I ask You to make me true in speech, in times of pleasure and anger.
I ask You to make me moderate in times of wealth and poverty and I ask You for everlasting bliss and joy which will never cease.
I ask You to make me pleased with what You have decreed and for an easy life after death.
I ask You for the sweetness of looking upon Your Face and a longing to encounter You in a manner which does not entail a calamity which will bring about harm nor a trial which will cause deviation.
O Allah, beautify us with the adornment of faith and make us of those who guide and are rightly guided.
O Allah, forgive me, have mercy upon me, guide me, give me health and grant me sustenance.
O Allah, I ask You for pardon and well-being in this life and the next.
O Allah, I ask You for pardon and well-being in my religious and worldly affairs, and my family and my wealth.
O Allah, veil my weaknesses and set at ease my dismay.
O Allah, preserve me from the front and from behind and on my right and on my left and from above, and I take refuge with You lest I be swallowed up by the earth.
A'ameen ya Rabb Al-Aa'lameen
I bear witness that None has the right to be worshipped except Allah and I bear witness that Muhammad is His Slave and Messenger
The above Du'as have been taken from the book:
Hisn-u-Muslim {Fortification of the Muslim through rememberance and supplication from the Qur'aan and the Sunnah}
By: Sa'eed Ibn 'Ali Ibn Wahf Al-Qahtaani
Dar Al-Khair Publications, Jeddah KSA
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